Harvest of Patrons & Donors Call 1, 18 September 2020

golden flow


See also the Event invitation for more framing of this calling question

This call marks the opening of a new cycle
of exploration around a topic—today in the presence of patrons and donors
who stoke the fire that keeps Collective Alchemy fueled.
Our intention is to shine the potent light of our practice
on the realm of money, finance and economy.
Here come some facts, figures and numbers
—without naming names—
the truth of what is: a core aspect of Collective Alchemy…
We currently have 12 patrons (although that number fluctuates)
offering a monthly donation.
We consciously chose this route – any other format felt misaligned.
Net monthly income at this points is £246.
Patrons’ contributions can be released, increased or reduced at any time.
Offerings are self-named.
We recently opened a channel to receive one-off donations,
in response to a request for this possibility.
This form has brought new contributors into the field,
and in the last month has generated £605.
This invitation to gather around a topic-specific focus area
has prompted others to step in as donors.
Where do the monies go?
They support the core team to tend this work—hosting and opening space.
We agree amongst ourselves how that is shared.
They also fund all that is required to host the web platform and
recompense our web designer and trainer Kamyar,
enabling Helen and Sarah to hold the website together.
In addition to money, resources are flowing in many ways:
we are all contributing our different strengths and predilections:
stewarding, hosting (more people are stepping into the hosting and sense-making)
visual harvesting, etc.
AND we are ALL beneficiaries.

Introducing the cards for this inquiry
We have found that there is no such thing as lukewarm alchemy.
We drew three cards—this is our usual pattern;
these cards give perspective to the question that called us here,
shedding a piercing light on how we are to continue:
We can look out into the world and at the system, which seems external to us,
but the cards are showing us that we need to address the issue by looking inside.
Fighting this old system just feeds the whole dynamic we are seeking to dismantle.

The card showing the essential energy of this call:
The Nine of Stones — Tradition
This speaks of reaching back into the past, into our ancestral memories.
Even today, we still carry deep within us the historic field that money arose in response to.
It has to do with how do you govern, track and coordinate reciprocity
as the number of individuals in the collective grows.
As we moved beyond the dunbar number
(150 people – the cognitive limit to the number of people
with whom one can maintain stable social relationships),
we needed some way of accounting, tracking.
Our species memory holds the trajectory
of how our money system has morphed and complexified over time,
and been manipulated and turned into a mechanism that has created and now maintains
a massive imbalance in society between the haves and the have-nots.
There is a morphic field around money that we live in and that lives in us.
It looks very different in indigenous cultures than in modern ones.
At its simplest, money remains an algorithm of reciprocity, a marker of value.
In our modern world, growth is the focal aspect,
where the indigenous teachings speak of increase.
The nuances between these two notions carries vast significance
for the wellbeing of our life sphere.

The card offering advice on how to approach this inquiry is
the 3 of arrows – Jealousy
This card speaks to all of the ways in which
our society’s attitudes towards money have wounded us.
There is pain in this card – there is burning.
The arrows have hit the mark, scorching our world and our earth.
It is important, when we lean into our calling question, not to bypass the pain.
We are invited to go through the doorway
of what is painful around our own personal relationship with money,
in order to explore what is healthy.

The card showing the most benevolent outcome is
the 2 of Arrows – Injustice
This card shows us very clearly what is playing out in our civilisation right now:
the scales of human justice have been skewed
to make the feather and the gold weigh the same.
Human law will not help us because all is rigged
to support the maintenance of the status quo
as it slides towards ever more extreme imbalance and inequity.
The whole is held in place by a tissue of lies and manipulation
which has become so threadbare that we, the masses, are starting to see through it.
But we must recognise that natural law will always prevail.
This is not optional, it’s built into nature.
Much as we might like to pretend otherwise, we are inescapably part of nature.
If humanity becomes extinct, this is natural justice …
There is no judgment here, just plain and simple consequence.
Money and power, that seem so important in the human realm,
are quite irrelevant to natural law.
The healthy move in our current situation is to look beyond
the lies, the distortion and the manipulation,
and to move back into right relationship with natural law.
The two videos – exploring indigenous wisdom and natural law,
offer some guidance as to what that might look like.

Turning towards the three of arrows:
What is my core wound around money and its energy
that I wish to place in the crucible to be burned off?

Let us offer this wounding into the flames, for it to be alchemised
—if you’re ready!

What I’d like to offer into the crucible is:
Disconnected, free-range thinking, that thinks it can work anything out.
As opposed to those thoughts that come in
after the heart’s inclination as an intuition;
those thoughts that align with my field of abundance and wealth.
Kin and kith to Calling (not planning and goals).

Money and wealth starts off as something to support me,
then grows unhealthy as it overrules others.
Into the flames I consign
that confusing mix of shame and pride.

I offer in not a wound but a fear:
a fear (rather unfounded) of lacking money,
with its concomitant loss of freedom.

A memory from childhood:
awareness of growing more expensive with age!
Feeling guilt at being a burden.
I place in the crucible
a way of looking at money that suppresses life.

I would like to burn off
the embarrassment of privilege,
so I can seek a positive way of using what I have.

Fairly young, I found a talent
for working with wood.
I have ploughed my life savings back into my workshop
which now employs 25 souls,
whose labour has contributed to the creation of the wealth
that accrues from channelling resources from the super-rich clientèle
into the bread on the table of 25 families.
If I feel resentment, it lies in the fact that
the clients get their furniture, the employees get their salaries,
the government gets the tax…
while I’m the one who holds it all,
for everyone to make use of the system.
AND I still think it’s worthwhile!

What is core in this multitude of wounds?!
I have had an unconscious association
of love and lack of money.
I learned the most about love from my mum,
who continually depleted her resources to care for other people.
It’s an association which needs to be broken!
Also: an unnameable feeling of ancestral shame
around how wealth has been built in the country I live in.
I don’t want to be associated with that
water that I can’t not swim in!
It lives in my body, but I can’t speak it or touch it.

Arising from notions of individualisation and separation,
somewhere along the way I acquired a belief
that people are responsible for how much money they have or don’t have.
That sense of “earning” and “wise use”.
An unconscious sense of judgement
that places souls on a spectrum of wealth
in a way that connects this to their worth and life’s actions.
I’d like to release that, recognising
we are all born into a skewed system
where money flows in strange ways.

Reciprocity is key.
What I would place in the crucible is
investment in goods.
I struggled with money much of my young life,
and now I live comfortably, with money I worked hard for.
How to repurpose that money now?
Money for membership or donation is a healthy use.

I have a long list of things to place into the crucible (I hope it’s a big one!)
In astrology, my north node (karmic task) is in the 2nd house:
coming to know my inherent value and offering it into the world
—regardless of whether the world values it!
Therein lies my struggle.
All of my work has been in human service.
The key word is VALUE:
As a patron, what I can “afford” has nothing to do with the value
in the service and the wisdom of this practice space. I sit in shame of that!
I don’t want to be shamed by my narrative around value
while I struggle to survive.
Value includes the willingness to receive.
Financial independence is associated with freedom—
I must move from there to interdependence.
So into the crucible goes the story that I carry around value
so that I might come to know something that is more true.

If I have a wound, then it is a collective one:
the patriarchal, capitalist mindset,
wherein mothering and caring are not valued,
and cannot be, in the money system—
while everything in our society is based on the mother child relationship:
it’s such a blind spot!
I place in the crucible the story that
“I might not have made enough money in my life”…

I hold a shard from each of your sharings.
My heart is tight, all the way through,
like an energetic straitjacket.
The energy of shrapnel—so fine that even a tiny piece
can be excruciating and ignite the original wounding—
is what I place in the crucible.

It’s only having “enough” money
that allows me to navigate life with confidence.
I experience strong fear at the prospect of no longer having
a stable and adequate income
that I can redistribute at my discretion.
Somewhere I hold a deep belief that money buys competence
and I’m not competent to live without money.
So having enough money is more of a core piece of my identity
than I care to admit!
THAT is going into the crucible!!

I still don’t feel abundance—even though I have enough for now.
That sense of deprivation is base matter to be burned.

These sharings echo a recent portal day where we were moving between the Story of Separation and the Story of Interbeing, from which the calling question named in our invitation springs:


A word that keeps coming:
Not the torrent that creates erosion,
but the kind that keeps things moving.
In my own experience, every time I feel scarcity or constriction,
the universe prompts me to release and allow a flow of money
to leave my ‘possession’—although I’m tempted to hold onto it.
This always allows money to flow through, rather than stagnating.
In days gone by, the practice of demurrage was common:
the longer you hold onto your currency, the less it is worth.
It’s what ensured the cathedrals were built, back in the 12th century!

Expressing appreciation of value
through a financial act.
Then trusting that the flow will come my way
when I need it.
May my choices not depend on money.

There are many versions of ‘economy’.
During our virtual portal day in July,
I watched the video “upward spirals”,
showing how tiny interventions can regenerate ecosystems.
My name is on this work!
Economic regeneration works
by increasing the velocity of flow of markers of value;
behaving as a complex system (NOT going for growth).

My wealth lies in owning the land I love on,
married to a simple lifestyle.
Nothing has come from planning,
everything has come from presence and listening.
Following my energy, my passion, my appetite,
and then, deep listening and presence, with open heart.
This is how things actually work.
In a sweat lodge, in the dark,
meeting myself through all of us
as the voices emerge.

Flying on a golden disc.
Full and empty—constant
invisible flow of giving and receiving.
That would be my ideal!

The humming bird and the forest fire:
“I’m doing what I can.”
I didn’t think I could do that, but I did it.
The adjustment bureau brought me 2 dimes!
Note to self: be specific in what you ask for.
It takes a loud message for me to get it.
What I have received is bigger than anything I could offer.
Intangible value: I can only pay it forward.
I need to learn what is enough.

Memories of working in hay fields as a boy,
managing the irrigation flows of water
running from the mountains to the ocean.
Too much water arrests growth.
Too little water arrests growth.
Water will always find its way,
my job was to pay attention;
notice where there is too much,
and where more is needed.
Whatever is mine to do,
stewarding is redirecting the flow
of the money that comes to me.

Being a member of this circle is important to me
at this time of my life.
The other day, I cleaned out my wallet:
Full of membership cards, showing
a wide variety of interests.
Why do I contribute? Do I believe they are worth anything?
They are all important and deserve my support:
they do good work.
I have seen the work that goes into preparing
for receiving people in this circle.
There’s a “give to get” for me.
All that this space offers—it must be supported.
It’s too important not to be supported!

The quality of an exchange
is down to the choices people make.
What happens here is worth supporting.
The difficulty lies in knowing how much to contribute!

Most of the money I give goes to ‘integral’ organisations.
That’s a revelation!
How much to contribute to the election?
It’s overwhelming to me: the asking doesn’t end.
Here where I live, there is a choice; a need to do something.
This whole system might collapse…
AND, it’s separation.
Do I even want to support this political system?
It has a destiny of its own:
if it takes tyranny to wake us up…
And then again:
If I support separation, I’m just right back in separation!
These questions are alive in me.

Checking out: what is the essence I am leaving with?

The possibility that money
doesn’t have to taint the sacred.

Standing on the beach.
The tide has come in and gone out.


Flow—trust that we can direct it.

Stay, deep listening to myself.
Act upon what I hear and see.

Flow—with flow comes healing.

A benign inquiry—not finished yet.

Resources—expanding my definition
as broadly as possible.

Love—for your work,
and for our courage to be in inquiry.

There is a lot to be valued
in knowing how to redirect the flow of money.

Contribution—honouring the work and the investment
in the process and in all of us.

Gratitude for this conversation.
Clearing the leaves from the spring,
releasing the source point.
What resides in the card representing the Most Benevolent Outcome
—this aspect of injustice—
for each one of us and for the collective?
The feather and the coins in balance:
Is it magic?

Gratitude for the flows of funbumps
moving through my body.
The flow of love, being touched, open heart.
The flow of energy, the different qualities you have brought,
the goodness!
Grateful for this growing web of relationships in our field,
that creates something substantial and nourishing.
When money enters the equation, it brings a different level of commitment:
Commitment to each other; to the value of our mutual, reciprocal relationships,
to the process that we’re gathered around—however we understand that.
As more of us gather, and step in to participate
this well spring is becoming an oasis.

To be continued….

Who showed up

Laurie Lynch, Molly & Mark Whiteley, An van Damme, Pieter De Ceuninck, Debra Roberts, Jenny Hegland, Ellen Decoodt, Brigitte Kupfer, Lynda Griebenow, Steve Ryman, Madeleine Schwab, Sarah Whiteley, Helen Titchen Beeth.


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