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Harvest of Collective Alchemy Practice Circles—19 June 2020

shadows 2

AS EVERYTHING IS TRANSFORMING AROUND
AND PERHAPS EVEN WITHIN ME,
WHAT VALUES WILL I HOLD TO AS AN EXPRESSION OF MY INTEGRITY,
WHATEVER HAPPENS?

See also the Event invitation for more framing of this calling question:

FRAMING of the CIRCLE

How did our question come into being?
Our practice is to source from the present,
to tune into the personal, the field of Collective Alchemy, and the Era Shift,
to bring through a question that is resonant.
As I share these personal threads, please
listen also for the transpersonal patterns.

Since the last portal day, there has been
a deepening and a gravity.
I found myself exploring White Fragility.
Alchemically, we were in the phase of
Calcination
burning away what isn’t true.
Well, we’re still in the burning times.
How to abet? Refrain from complaining!

Yet, as we cycled through the processing,
we discerned another thread at play:
the deep vulnerability of
Fermentation—
inner chaos; a deep fall from a great height:
the dark night of the spirit.
Current reality doesn’t make sense
when you’re looking at it from underneath.
Disorientation, confrontation.
Our usual practices don’t work—they just make things worse!
Abet through self-care. Anchor in the simplicity of the mundane:
rest, eat, cry. Be What Is.
Maintain inner silence. Seek the still point.

As within, so without.
The shale ridge keeps falling away underfoot.
How do you anchor when things are falling away?
How do we anchor in disorienting motion,
in a way that allows us to keep alchemising
all that’s happening in the world?

Disorienting and reorienting.
A climbing metaphor can help here:
The belayer—someone to hold you as you ascend (or descend)—
must be solidly anchored.
As we hold each other, what are we anchoring on?
Inner? Outer? Other?
The strongest place to offer a steady holding
is triangulation, which also helps us navigate together.

The question took time to emerge,
because everything was in question…
including the value of this practice!

Moving into the practice through the portal of silence.
Take your lantern and descend
into the Earth. Deeper, deeper…

AS EVERYTHING IS TRANSFORMING AROUND
AND PERHAPS EVEN WITHIN ME,
WHAT VALUES WILL I HOLD TO AS AN EXPRESSION OF MY INTEGRITY,
WHATEVER HAPPENS?

Unshakeable knowing that I’m here
to bring back feminine wisdom and power.
No matter what, my existence
needs to serve life, and the continuity of life.
Summoned by the Earth in mid-life
into the story of Lilith:
demonisation of the fierce, strong feminine.
The danger of a woman in her power.
It’s scary: the power against it
is in us as well.
I’m challenged in practicing it right now.

Certainty”: what is that?
Love, gratitude…. overwhelming sadness
when I betray my values.
The unshakeable knowing, at the deepest depths.
There is a gravity: a necessity to anchor in our incarnation
in order to stand straight.
Rectitude.
Touch the Earth to be straight,
so love and light can flow up.
In that verticality, you can’t be alone.
What is holding us together?
A deeply shared value—
love for the other, no matter what.
A revelation that it is found
not in spirit but in soul.

The value of Self as Nature.
The heart and the gut,
connecting to the whole.
Anchoring beyond the narrative that surrounds me
on the human, mundane plane.
All the debates are like an anthropological experiment.
They are a distraction.
I must trust in the truth of my body
and its ability to be kind to the others
whom I encounter.
Be they (hum)animal, vegetable or mineral.

I feel like I want to make a vow.
I want to keep showing up to life.

I want to keep showing up
By showing myself to the other,
Whether it’s men or women,
Plant, animal, mineral,
Water or fire,
Earth and air, breath and blood
The Universe and myself

I want to keep showing up
By showing myself:
Here I am.

I want to keep showing up
By being willing to practice.

I want to keep showing up
By being kind to myself.

I want to keep showing up
By allowing myself to stay at home,
By practicing letting go of the practice.

I want to keep showing up
By lying down for a while,
Not to hide but to rest.

I want to make the vow
Not to hide anymore.

Seeing, feeling, awareness,
continually coming back to life.

Moving from the core to the edge,
and then from the edge to the core.
Disoriented:
Where am I? Who am I?
In those depths I found emptiness:
there is nothing to hold to…
and yet, I find respect,
acceptance of life as it is.
Opening my eyes and seeing you
I took you with me in my descent.
This is a safe space in which to be lost.

The image shifted from anchors in the ground
to anchors in the sky.
Both.
An expansiveness away
from the traditional notion of anchors,
to something serviceable in the multidimensional space.
The SOMA.
The mind-body-perception-spirit
that integrates, not separates.
Trust and presence always co-exist in the SOMA.
This is
not and intellectual presence.
Can the soma be an access point
we are less familiar with?

Compassion,
for myself and others.
Letting things be as they are,
not as I will them to be.
Including my own dross, and my patterns.
Let it be.
Invite the other way of being.
Be compassionate, too, with the blockages I find.
It was my integrity
that brought me to this call.
Wholeness.

A dream holds the keys to my values:
In underneath a sacred rock
to an upside-down cathedral
holding an etching of Sophia,
a huge seed at her feet,
cased in glass.
Valuing the energy of Wisdom.
Keep going down,
tracking where Wisdom resides
and bringing it into the Light.
The value is in the seed.
Tracking deep in the underworld terrain
is the Work to be done.

I felt your words in my body.
What I have experienced in the last 24 hours,
The importance of trusting my soul,
the beauty of the Universe in its dance,
Placing things where there is space and need.
Something that was supposed to happen did not happen
and my soul has woven a new path
to enable me to find my way to where I need to be.
With trust comes ease—letting go,
understanding that there will always be
that someone
who can guide me through the underworld—
a neighbour, an old friend, a stranger…
Help will always be forthcoming.

I like to take the time to reflect on the question.
The process of transformation starts with reflection,
followed by rotation, slight or great,
and then revolution. Clarity.
Integrity is not compromising my truth.
That can be tested.
What keeps me grounded and focused is my values.
Calmness, courage, compassion—for self and others.
Also: contribution. Being able to help.
Resilience, resolve, responsiveness.

Being “home alone” most of the time
my values: the essence of what I value
is visible in what I do.
When you’re in the spin (the lock down was dramatic)
I went with the disorientation
until my values emerged,
in the form of my activities:
becoming more conscious,
maintaining connection—to people, country, planet
What will I take with me when I leave this life?
My consciousness.
My conversations, too, revolve around consciousness.

A lake of hope.
Understanding from the heart about hospice work.
There has been disorientation in the physical plane,
blasts from the past—anything can happen.
No need to understand.
A moment comes when the pieces of the puzzle fall into place.
How, as a human, to understand bureaucracy?
Rules like ruins from older worlds.
Consciousness is rising, on a tide of love.
I value wholeness. Presence, Consciousness,
regulated moment by moment.
With these, we recognise the “higher right”,
to navigate our daily choices,
that overrides the fossilised “lower rights”.
Love, empathy and lightness are not values, but qualities
with which we can move.

The silence brought forth a long list of values.
But what leaped out from the question was the words:
WHATEVER HAPPENS.
That took me along another thread of inquiry,
brought me to the tracking of what feels right.
The capacity to flow from moment to moment,
whilst tracking what feels (energetically) light, going with that.
How risky, in extremity, to hold onto values
as part of an identity, when the greatest contribution
could go against a dearly held value…
Instead of a value, a TENET:
nurture that capacity to tune into what is light in the moment,
and go with that; receptive and allowing that any of my dearly held values
might not, in the moment, be what will serve the highest good.

Integrity calls for a constant willingness to die
to everything that separates me from the light of Source
and from the bliss of NOW.

The space where Nothing is,
and Everything is.
My connection to Source.
To abide in that whole formless field.
Also, the formless field of LOVE.

It’s OK to lose your ground,
It’s not OK to lose your centre.
Cultivating source connection, core connection, centring.
I have affinity with White Water:
engaging, continually, with the wave action,
doing my Work, what is mine:
the standing wave that stops me in my tracks,
until it finds resolution.
Integrity is Wholeness; aligning with the Most Benevolent Outcome.

What if I am the water?
Of course, I literally am!
How am I expressing my integrity in this moment?
In these times?
My body can take in the poison of history and metabolise it.
My breath can dissolve the hardest paced dirt.

Caught up in words and metaphors.
My metaphor is
letting go, not holding on
trusting in the flow, the mystery beyond my understanding,
to dissolve into that, and trust it’s all going as it needs to go.

In the contemplation, I saw that I want
to ease the pain of those who cross my path
as best I can.

Who showed up

Ellen Decoodt, Jenny Hegland, Daniela Tablado, An van Damme, Jessica Srikantia, Marie-José d’Aprile, Anna Brunain, Brigitte Kupfer, Patricia Hunt Perry, Judy Wallace, Madeleine Schwab, Inna Chilik, Molly Whiteley, Julia Hoffmann, Louise Carpenter, Steve Ryman, Ursula Hillbrand, Nancy Greenfield, Sarah Whiteley, Helen Titchen Beeth.



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