Harvest of Collective Alchemy Practice Circles—15 January 2021

The kiss of unconditional love




See also the Event invitation for more framing of this calling question:

Stepping in

There is a pregnant emptiness in this moment in our flow:
the deep silence that presages an earth quake.
A building of intensity.
How to be in and with that?
Our circle will invite us to tune into the wave that is rising in the collective,
in tune with the larger wave of the Era Shift we are in.
You are invited to drop deep and be present.

Reminder of the invitation

A key aspect for this wave is Sovereignty, and the role it plays in the Era Shift. Each of us is unique and individual. As human beings we have a particular role to play in nature, as part of creation. If you look at how we’re living as a species on this planet, it’s quite clear that we’ve lost our way on that one, partly because we’ve given away our sovereignty—knowingly or not. We are no longer sovereign to the extent that we follow our conditioning, thanks to the way our societies are designed and how our civilizations have grown destructive as a result. As we shall see over this portal wave and the next, the alchemical view offers us a whole different perspective on the meaning of ‘sovereignty’—and its ultimate destiny.

In alchemical terms, our sovereignty fully manifests in the 6th and penultimate phase in the alchemical process: Sublimation. (See the Matrix of Alchemical Procedures for an overview of the full process.) In this phase, “the subject is heated up until the essence rises to the top.” The base matter to be transmuted is the disconnect between intention and will: you know you are in this phase when you recognise how much of your behaviour is actually impulsed from your will directly into your body without passing through your thinking mind. The symptoms are confusion, a hyper-active mind, feeling out of control, and having unintended effects in the world. You abet this by not attempting to justify your actions, by not seeking outside approval. Transmutation comes when thought becomes deed.

This being “heated up until the essence rises to the topis what we are experiencing, metaphorically, in our calling question. It is humanity’s rite of passage; it is the forging ground of our sovereignty. It is not enough, however, to become sovereign. What matters is what we subsequently do with our sovereignty. The phase in the alchemical process most resonant with the energy signature of the Sun of Life is actually portrayed as the final phase: Radiation. This is the phase when the philosopher’s stone is formed.


Resonance of the word “pressure.”
Squeezing snakes.
Stability and strength in the middle of the squeeze,
my centre can help me to stay with the pressure.
It’s part of the process.
Strengthen the centre, rather than flee the snakes.
Polarities hold a negative connotation for me.
Reactivity: polarities are BAD.
Yes, polarities can be present: stay.

I am reminded of the alchemist’s card: the two snakes.
Stay with me, polarities.
Acknowledging the polarities in myself,
being with them instead of suffering from the pressure.
Knowing that all the extremes are within me.
For once not to seek compromise but to live both of them.
Let me be introverted and tired today,
and ecstatically dancing to loud music tomorrow.
I don’t want the middle road.
Seeking to find compromise makes the pressure become toxic.
It’s not easy. Sometimes I’m suffering.
I’m struggling with the winter, the greyness and tiredness.
And I know the sun will rise again.
Go into the winter darkness for real,
in order to live the other polarities too.
Being full and empty at once,
longing for silence and noise at the same time.
Why not live all of them
and make something out of the pressure?
It’s intense, and it’s a gift.

I’ve been practicing Collective Alchemy this week.
A day full of meetings planned,
and then skipped in order to regress
to a weeping fit on my kitchen floor—
rows with loved ones can do that!
Staying with what was present.
A walk in nature, dancing around a lake.
An eye conversation with a little girl.
This is who I am today,
dark and tears, depicted through art.
Let it be, make some art.
However our art forms show up.
Impossible to capture the beauty of how everything is,
but trying brings relief.

Playfulness and creating
through any kind of art
can help to sustain and endure.
Singing and crying,
singing to my inner child
can crack things open and
invite in the light.

Solstice at Uluru:
The rainbow serpent brings forth
the rainbow bridge between heaven and earth.
Our Western culture thinks ‘UP’.
And the bridge between polarities,
(not a compromise, they are always lies)
a bridge you can walk on.
Heaven and earth cannot be bridged
when you have not first been down to earth.
The relation from the centre of my body
to the centre of Earth,
nourishes me.
I can endure and sustain
when I know myself as Earth.
Wake DOWN to hold the bridge.
Letters from my mother
coming to light, 30 years after her death,
reminding me of the reconciliation
that took place
between our polarities
in the final years before her death.

Knowing myself as Earth.
My body comes alive to those words.
Child’s pose:
looking down into the Earth.
The Sun of Life resonates:
a posture of opening heart and hips,
my body starts to tremble,
until it stops.
What is the child’s pose for the collective body?
The opening and trembling in the collective body?

The fire keeper keeps the fire burning.
In winters when it rains for days
and the sun doesn’t shine,
It used to be hard to keep the fire burning
in the house.
That fire was different: smoky,
with a struggling flame.
Within these polarities,
being sovereign is tending the fire inside.
When the air is so moist,
the lungs breathe smoke:
Is it smoke or buried grief?
Keep checking on the inner fire:
it’s a skill.
The fire keeper knows.
It’s one of the skills of the Alchemist:
keep the fire burning,
attend to the heat itself.

The pregnant silence.
There’s such noise in my body, in my head.
I followed the preparation for these calls,
vicariously experiencing.
This dredges up so much:
the control of the mind,
and the heart!
What now? Now What?
In this time of personal transformation,
of social awakening.
It’s a time of… (r)evolution.
It’s all swirling in me.
Do I have control of anything?
Sovereignty: wanting to be strong,
the author of my own life…
How to do that?
There’s a restlessness in me, and a noise.
I feel compelled to act,
without knowing what.
I need the light and heat,
whatever it will take
to enable me to do something!

I can relate to the urge to DO!
When to say yes? When to say No?
That relates to the restlessness.
Holding all the polarities;
when I close my eyes, I see the polarities,
connected by little lines.
My body received that acknowledgement
of the restlessness.
Part of this sovereignty business
is shedding the skin of false identity:
that’s disorienting.
Appreciating the beauty of our images today.
Especially the snake.
The art that lives in the rich imagery
of our communication.

Polarising energy within myself.
Cutting, so as not to stay with the polarities outside.
There’s enough inside.
I have to BE. No doing.
What happens when I’m not doing?
Not a lot.
I’m in a non-doing mode. Withdrawn.
No festivities this year, no carnival.
Whatever there is not is already too much.
Under the light protection of a snow blanket.
That’s the right image for the moment.
Staying in that slow place,
looking for the capacity to ‘do’ with the BE.
If I can’t DO with the BE, I can’t DO.
Receive what’s coming my way,
Be with it.
Nothing to decide.
Creating a bigger universe around me,
so my own energy circle has the space it needs.
Whoever wants to enter needs to knock.

Letting go of the old ways of being,
sensing into myself.
Stopping doing.
Feeling in my body.
The old patterns are hard to fight off.
Quietly focusing on keeping the fire going.
Finding people who are on the same journey,
growing the sense of collectively showing the way.
That starts from me doing it myself.
On the ground,
in myself,
part of the whole.
Riding the edges.
What do I want to let go of?
To hold on to?
Letting it be, too,
in the joy and dance and the play.
Kindness in the listening
makes it lighter.

Looking at the bigger picture.
The planets reflect so accurately what’s going on:
what we’re in is archetypal.
As above so below, as without so within.
We’re acting out in the social body, as well as feeling inside.
The social body has been building up a head of steam for a while now.
We have Mars conjunct Uranus—the maverick liberator—in the Earth sign Taurus,
locking horns in a square with Saturn and Jupiter
who are entering Aquarius—empowering the rise of the People—
as Pluto continues to grind through our crumbling governance system in Capricorn.
The one thing we know about the planets:
the outer planets always win:
while Saturn attempts to keep hold of the status quo,
Pluto and Uranus will win hands down every time.
Meanwhile our solar system is passing through the photon belt,
showering us with intense cosmic light.
I feel it in my body:
the social grinding and the inner light—an upgrade.
Then there’s the small picture of practice:
those tiny everyday gestures, like remembering
to breathe through the heart,
drink enough water, get enough sleep.
Stay with what’s happening without fleeing into distraction.
That’s how I do my bit—understanding
that coal under pressure transmutes into diamond.

Desire & resistance to speak.
Sovereignty lives in me as focus.
As the inner and outer situation intensifies,
the more I focus on my reactions and responses,
the closer I move towards sovereignty:
the shedding of all the entrainment, the programming,
which includes resistance.
Allowing ourselves to expand into allowance:
allowing polarity to lose its force.
Intensity is not the only forging ground for becoming sovereign.
It brings into sharp relief
what we react to from the mental/emotional plane
of programming that isn’t source.
Individuation is coming to know ourselves as source,
as part of the whole, in-oneness.
The ugly stuff loses its charge, and the focus shifts
to what else is possible.
How can I be an open, clear channel for source to come through
in its individual unique spark?
When I can BE with my body, the earth, allow space,
I start to hear and receive
what is mine to do and be.
The WILL part is: how do I enact?
My will is to be that unique sovereign spark of the whole.
That light pulsing through the open channel.
Plugged into the ground,
Knowing ourselves as one with source.
Allowing the expansion to hold the entire polarity
keeps us out of fear, resistance, judgement, right and wrong.
NOW is such a practice ground
to hold everybody and everything in the allowance
that EVERYTHING is part of the whole.
Which of my beliefs, responses, reactions must I shed?
The intensity is keeping my focus on my awareness
of what pulls me off centre:
the energy of the heart and the sacral co-creative capacity
that brings forth our reality.
What’s coming towards us from the future
is what we can call in.
What am I calling into creation with my attention,
holding balance between allowance and action?

Misreading the question:
what do I have to do?
Not what can help me!
Head down.
Child’s pose:
all the one-dimensional sticks become filaments.
Open arms, chest, legs.
Going into possibility excites the mind,
my body wants to wait and see.
What helps me endure is the silence
and opening my body.

Witnessing through touch and breath,
there is no one to be healed.
I’m in a personal masterclass:
what does it mean to be living in the dying?
We are letting go of what is dear—
without knowing, always, what that is.
In the movement from doing to being,
witnessing my touch and breath
to my own mother, in her time of transitioning.
How do we hold that polarity?
Making art.
Tending our bodies, our plants.
Playing our instruments.
Where are we taking false movement
because we can’t hold the tension?
Be with the moment when the movement
naturally arises and the creation comes.
Turning everything inside out, and dropping deep.

Glimpses of the elementals
at the moment of waking:
flower essences.
An elemental Christmas tree
emerging through glittering stardust.

Last week, I experienced wave after wave of nauseating fear,
coming from the collective.
It infested my sleep, making it difficult to get out of bed in the morning.
I felt quite low, without much energy for anything.
Then comes the new moon in Capricorn, landing in my fifth house.
I have found new appetite for studying astrology,
diving in to what’s going on in the heavens.
What a relief!
No wonder I’m feeling this massive, terrifying intensity!
There’s evolution/revolution boiling up,
and it will pass, sooner or later.
In the meantime, I’m keeping it close:
processing all this intensity in my own body.
I feel like a shake shedding its skin:
Peeling away and dropping layer after layer of identity.
Refraining from telling stories about my experience.
It’s like labour: incredibly intense.
Waves of transmutation. They pass through.
Breathe. Sleep. Eat chocolate.

The Green Man.
We’re going through the collapse of the old patriarchal structures,
moving into a time when that Sacred Masculine energy
is given space.
What helps me with the intensity is focusing on my sphere of influence:
my very own self!
Intense focus on awareness of habits, patterns, routines:
do they serve me or not?
Standing up at my desk…
Seeking consistency in tracking what feels light in my body,
being aware of thoughts, feelings.
What no longer serves, is cleared away
so I can feel source flowing through,
being a sovereign being of source.
Allowing change
in my own structures.
Barefoot on the ground,
connecting to earth and gratitude,
using oils, essences, sound.
Dancing daily.
Consuming high vibes.
No need to know the daily details of the news.
Focusing on what I’m bringing through and creating
as my reality.
Even if this means parting ways with people in my life.

Taking periods to fast,
to abstain from sex,
help me endure and sustain intensity.
Being with the tension in the lower chakras,
keeps me from reacting from those places
of survival and sexual desire
and everything else related to creativity
when I’m engaging in life.
Working with the lower chakra tension
is easier for me – more obvious – than working with higher chakra tension.
I can’t work with the higher without the capacity for working with the lower
That kind of asceticism is for working with masculine energy.
Those practices don’t tend to serve the feminine energy as well.
When I fast, I can go inside more easily,
because i haven’t sated that drive.
Making art. Being in that creative process
helps me to endure the tension, to bring in all the pieces.
The creation helps to sustain it,
creating space for the next wave to move through.

ART! Ching ching!
I show you the pinnacle of my exploration
around polarizing energies:
Painted on Christmas Day.
I have been experiencing how
those polarising energies move me out
of my place in the centre.
Discovering an old photo of myself with my father and mother,
realising I painted this picture as a frame for that picture.
My struggle with polarities is not a struggle at all.
I am their kiss.
I am the embodiment of polarising energies.
My very existence is the fruition of this balance.
Instead of actively trying to achieve the balance,
I just need to be in peace with myself
and embrace the inner balance of Who I Am.
“The Kiss of Two Polarities”
became “The Kiss of Unconditional Love”.
My bigger question now is no longer
how to find balance, but
how to practice unconditional love,
and what that means.

The Forging Ground.
What are the forging grounds in my life
where the pressure is intense,
where I’m being asked, as a sovereign being,
to step into some things I might never have done before?
Part of it is the pressures of what has been expected
from me as a woman, as a citizen, as a host and facilitator.
The first forging ground is the Vaccine.
I’m in the age range and I have declined;
while everybody else is so excited to accept.
It’s hard for me to hear them say that—I have not evidence to say
it’s not the right thing to do, but it’s not right for me.
Another forging ground is relationship—with a man, for example.
Ah, the old patterns of relating, coming out of patriarchy!
How can I be fully who I am without
judging or demeaning, or failing to consider the wishes of another?
An intense calling to look within, to what is true for me,
while knowing, understanding, being with
what’s true for the other.
Living in a country where so much is erupting on the outer,
what’s inside?
What’s going on in people?
The Red and the Blue
is one way how we polarise.
I would always say I’m on the Blue side,
but what does that mean?
I see the folks on my side still blaming, shouting, seeking revenge,
just like the Red side.
I’m seeing it differently now:
from a more neutral space.
What’s wanting to emerge here, out of this forging ground
we’re burning up in, across the world.
Can I hold a sovereign space for that?
There’s a lot of enduring, sustaining, and being with it some more.
I notice I’m no longer taken down by it.
I no longer feel belittled or demeaned when others disagree with me.
That’s part of my stepping into my own sovereignty.

What can help?
I’ve been thinking about ‘failure’.
Failing to endure and sustain.
Failing to change and grow.
One stepping stone is to allow myself to fail.
I’m arriving as a comet,
Flying away from the system, failing to fly away,
Flying back to the sun and failing to hit the sun.
Again and again.
I’m getting more comfortable with failing—
success comes easy.
I want to remain like wet clay.
A potter keeps his clay wet,
so he can keep starting again.
I am both the potter and the clay.
When I play a game, I no longer worry about failing.
This should be at the heart of every endeavour of mine.
I’m even fine with the potential of having failed
to convey what is on my mind.
Next time I will build a better vase!

What is required for transmutation?
Pieces of the mosaic:
polarisation of masculine and feminine is obvious.
Sometimes I fast from sexuality because it happens.
Sometimes refraining from sex for a year.
Being true to myself.
Now I’m fasting because I choose to sleep alone.
Sexual energy is creative energy,
it can be used for anything—
including staying present.
Any creative act needs to be fuelled with that.
There are so many levels:
body pleasure;
orgasm releases oxytocin—the birthing hormone.
Birthing something new,
oxytocin is the community hormone.
In our current separation,
me here, you there, digitally,
what’s happening with that hormone?
Can we use it in this transformed way?
In these calls, we are bonding.
Is that enough nourishment?
Transcending old-fashioned dyad coupling
to use that energy creatively.
The inner transformation can be offered in the mesocosm
and the macrocosm.
How far can our authentic influence reach
without losing the vibes?
I just have to be warm enough
to generate the energy needed,
so radiation can happen—even without the Internet.
We are exercising muscles so we can connect
across the frequencies.
Cleaning our channels, taking out the patina,
to allow the energy through and out.
The information will connect as it needs.
As a woman,
Why not host circles for men?

Once we’ve cleaned out the system
to allow the energy to flow,
that’s intense.
Most of our systems aren’t prepared:
they’ve atrophied!
Practicing to strengthen the nervous and glandular system
to hold what will come through
the open channels.
Are there equivalent collective practices?
What does that look like?
What does collective fasting look like,
so we can work with the energy
and direct it where nature calls.
Dreaming of SuperMario Brothers in my dreams:
I beat the game all the way through
without dying, without killing a single foe, without
getting a single experience point or power-up.
Just going through all the levels at the minimum,
and still beating the game.

I’m feeling a strong resistance
to what my lens of perception is showing me
of what is happening:
that either individually or collectively,
we have to do something;
I don’t want to do anything at all.
If I have to take the paradigm of polarisation,
The only polarity I see is this:
between what I have do and…
what I’m free to do?
Having to do stuff is noise that keeps me
in a place I cannot touch those creative energies,
and where those energies
are unable express.

What is the difference between being and doing?

I feel an urge not to speak.
To bathe in the wealth of what is shared,
what is present in this field.
Listen to it, absorb it,
allow it to grow.
There’s very little doing here.
In the silence,
I heard my heart beating in my ears.
Felt a gentle rocking movement,
in a green furry sea.
There was the feeling of tangible connection
to so many people and beings,
without seeing anything or anyone.
All by myself but connected to everything.
What helps me is to listen.

I just had a ‘Doh!’ moment.
Recognising that all my life I’ve sought
In many circles in which I’ve moved,
I’ve watched people avoiding it.
Intensity can also be placed on a spectrum,
made a polarity out of…
You can put anything on a spectrum, and
make a polarity out of it.
Absolutely anything.
It seems to be something that humans do!
It’s not necessarily something that exists ‘out there’;
rather, it’s something we do.
My memory and my cognitive function kick in now
to inform me that it is Mental/Rational consciousness
that does this. Ahhhhhh!
It is my understanding that there is a mutation of consciousness
currently ongoing within the collective body of humanity.
We don’t have to ‘do’ anything: it’s happening through us and in us.
As part of our nature as an ever-evolving universe.
The word that comes to me is: “REFRAIN”.
Refrain from using my mind and my reason
to pit one thing against another,
Rather, just let it all be there in the flow of life and experience.

Moving towards the Great Bear.
Nature is not vindictive, just practical.
Honesty is the key.
Be assured, change is at hand.
The universe has a long memory:
nothing is ever forgotten.

Check-out: What has the Sun of Life illuminated for you in this call?

The mind placed in the heart.

The power and serenity of witnessing.


The authenticity of listening

I can tolerate anything!

The intensity of holding that space
while waiting for the moment to arise.

Make pudding and share it with others

Stillness, concentration and focus on the centre

Love and create.

Holding the silence and waiting for movement to arise
is not a luxury but a necessity.

To know as Earth, to know ourselves as Source.

Kindness, gentleness, playfulness.

Shining inside and outside—just continue.

Playing the fool.

Transformation can be about knowing; being; not all about doing.

The wisdom of the collective



We’re gonna be all right!

The power of community and listening to one another

The joy of meeting new people, receiving from the depths
of collective wisdom and presence—while supposedly locked down!!

The pleasure of naming resistances, but not too soon!

You can be scattered but safe at the same time.

The importance and sacredness of tending the inner fire;
what do I burn for?

Connection between all of us, and a lightness and trust that we will be all right.

The passage of peace is acceptance.

Doing is the same as being, when we are really being.

Grace and poise to walk the tightrope on the edge.

Doing with being—whether creating or waiting beneath the snow for the springtime.

Tending to the fire.

The importance of being artful, and making art.

The benevolent energy surrounding us.

Who showed up

Molly Whiteley, Jenny Hegland, Louise Carpenter, Niki Jewett, Devanjalee, Daniela Tablado, Julia Hoffmann, Brigitte Kupfer, Anna Brunain, Alex Haw, Ellen Decoodt, Ursula Hillbrand, Brandon Wade, Cristiano Siri, Judy Wallace, Pavol Kukucka, Madeline Snow, Inna Chillik, Pieter De Ceuninck, Wini Condic Begov, An van Damme, Aakanksha Singh, Dounia Saeme, Marie-José d’Aprile, Sarah Whiteley, Helen Titchen Beeth.


Share this post

Share on facebook
Share on twitter
Share on linkedin
Share on whatsapp
Share on telegram
Share on email

Invitation Page

Invitation to Practice

Our invitation to practice Collective Alchemy continues on 15 January 2021

IF THE PRESSURE OF POLARISING ENERGIES BUILDING IN OUR LIVES AND IN OUR WORLD IS THE FORGING GROUND FOR OUR OWN INDIVIDUAL SOVEREIGNTY,WHAT CAN HELP US ENDURE AND SUSTAIN THE INTENSITY REQUIRED FOR TRANSMUTATION? In our 19th wave of alchemical practice, we find ourselves moving beyond the numinous presence of The Moon on Water (December 18) and into the light of  The Sun of Life We invite you to lean in with us and explore

Read More »


Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Our website uses cookies and contact forms to collect information. Please visit our Privacy Policy page for more details.