Harvest of Collective Alchemy Practice Circles—12 February 2021



See also the Event invitation for more framing of this calling question:

Stepping into the final stage of our journey,
before a new cycle commences
in a different octave.
Inviting silence as a way of becoming present
to self, to each other, to the field of our practice,
and the era shift we serve.


The signature of the co-sensing quest for the calling question for this Portal Day was the ‘trickster’ nature of perception. Gazing at the World Tree, we could make no sense:

Do we enter the door in the tree, or have we just come out of it?

Is the labyrinth part of the process or is it a delusion, a distraction, (a ‘Matrix’)?

Notoriously, in any journey, the last mile has the most potential for loss of attention. It is when we are most likely to lose our focus and have accidents. In this case, completing well has something to do with shifting our perceptions, recognising that we are in a ‘liminal’ space—at all levels, from personal to planetary—a time-in-between. It is as if we stand at a crossroads where we can, and perhaps must, actively choose a future; where we might, perhaps, have to part from those who make a different choice. Do we seek the marks of a trail already blazed by others (that will be some kind of repetition of the past)? Or do we strike off on our own, into the wilds where there is no path to follow? Or do we perhaps allow ourselves to be attracted by a frequency, a resonance emanating towards us from a future waiting to be born, discontinuous from the past?

The World Tree also holds a space outside of time, where all seasons are present together; where past, present and future all co-exist in the same eternal moment; where the full spectrum of possibility lies latent, waiting for the infinite spark of our attention and our will to be drawn through into the flow of time.

What happens when we turn our basic assumptions about life and reality upside down and inside out, inspecting the ‘negative space’ to see what we otherwise do not notice? What possibilities do we then see?

Nora Bateson recently wrote these words, in response to the discovery of a “Book of Blank Maps”:

De-mapping = unclaiming
De-harvesting = allowing fertilizing to occur
De-modeling = untying from existing establishments
De-strategizing = allowing unimagined possibilities
Wild underground unsaid unknown undefined = a possibility zone.
The system cannot change the system.

Early call

I was struck by the last word of the question:
If I were to turn inside out, and live my life like that,
bringing out my essence from within to the outside,
I have a sense of connection:
very naked, very vulnerable, very open.
And with everyone living inside-out…
then the vulnerability drops.
It becomes a very different world.

I notice that for much of my life,
what has been on the inside has been quite harsh.
My inner critic, the inner controller.
So many of us have that harsh inner critic,
while on the outside we’re just like pussycats.
We roll over and bare our throats,
letting others having their way,
while on the inside we’re real warriors.
When we turn that inside out,
perhaps we can start being kinder to ourselves
and putting up some healthy boundaries with the outside world.
The trickster energy of speaking the truth,
not keeping it in.
These seem to be times when that is very much called for.
It feels like we are in the era of the Emperor’s new clothes.
Which brings me to upside down…
the feeling that everything we have been told is black… is white;
while everything we’ve been told is white… is black.
Walking through a territory
knowing that the map—if it is a map of anything at all—
is a map of a different place
than the place where we live.
Perhaps it is our inside-outness which is needed
to navigate and negotiate the upside-downness of the world
that we live in,
in this era shift.
There is also a perception shift around time.
At key moments in my life I have felt a palpable relationship
with my future self.
What happens when I reel in the future
—that future that I sense is possible and desirable—
don’t leave it ‘out there’ but start living it now.

It’s a crazy strange period
outside and in.
It’s good to be aware of it and name things.
The upside-down and inside-out quality is
not just sticking the head into the earth.
How can my root system get to what it needs
so that my whole system gets what it needs?
In German we call it “Umstulpung.”
A process of inversion,
like a bag you turn inside-out.
It’s still the same vessel, but what does it mean
to be completely inverted?
Some male glands are produced like that:
the bag containing the hormone is inverted.
So this is a normal, organic process
that happens in our bodies anyway.
I just need to connect to that.
That gives me some orientation for the mess I’m in.
This gives me a 4D/5D map.
We’re changing dimensions.
We’re developing organs for another dimension,
and that doesn’t make sense in 3D.
Most of the functions I use are quite useless.
My brain is in the way all the time, blocking.
The frequency connection to the past is still on, in the way.
How to shut down the functions that are no longer useful,
that hold me back in known territories?
It takes will power to really jump.
I have had the will power to jump into the cold, cold lake.
When the lake is +5° and the outside air is -5°,
it is no struggle.
I know it will be good for me to go into the water,
it’s just my conditioning that says it’s not.
Go with the desire, the memory of the future,
that tells me what is good and right and new.
This inverted place is like a ‘groan zone’
I’ve diverged: new people, new ideas, new playing fields.
And the chaos has struck.
The art is not to converge too early,
but to stay in the new, the new, the new!
Building that muscle
is my work for now.

Time and space are experienced differently at all levels.
Breathing in the sunlight, seeing it on your face,
Sitting here together, it could have been one year ago,
the early-year light is the same.
Memories of the start of this cycle are so strong:
It doesn’t matter – we’ve always been here and we always will.
Why do we say: ‘it’s almost like we’ve always been here?’
Perhaps we just have!
The liminal space: aren’t we always in between
something old and something new?
Is there anything else than just being in between?
Maybe we can call it ‘chaos’, saying goodbye to the old,
welcoming the new.
Everything we’re longing for is already here.
These words have traveled with me.
This past week, with the snow,
I’ve been longing for snow. I’ve been crying,
missing the Swedish winters.
I’m not ready for the spring if I haven’t had any snow.
I’ve been out skiing, in the Belgian snowy meadows.
It doesn’t matter where I am.
These landscapes are in me, as I am in them.
It’s a matter of finding what I long for in myself,
and bringing it to the outside.
It’s already here.
We’re already here.
Everything we’re longing for is already here.

Home was redefined by the snow.
on the ground
for a week.
I’m used to measuring snow in feet, not inches.
The future is attracting our attention.
When looked at inside out, the future does hold promise.
That gives me strength.
We have to do the work individually,
but the collective gives me energy.
Would my perceptions change if I were alone?
Without that inverted thinking, would I be more susceptible to what I’m told.
The journey with Collective Alchemy has been intense for me at times.
I have had high frequency in this group in a positive way.
I have also experienced, emotionally, some low periods.
Fortunately they don’t last that long,
something will happen that turns me around:
shake, rattle and roll.
It will be someone from the collective that will help me to shift.
Can I experience anything that is positive and forward thinking
unless I have just had some torment and turmoil?
The journey is complete now
and the journey begins again.

I haven’t quite caught this wave.
My heart is racing—for the first time in a week.
The dots are not connecting, and that’s fine.
Connecting them brings me to logic:
that horrible, overused word.
The trickster and the door
bring me to Alice in Wonderland.
What am I telling my children?
There is no such thing as logic.
People trying to find their way out of the maze.
It’s an imposed logic – we can’t find the exit because there’s no such thing.
We’re not getting out, we’re suffocating,
and we’re terribly sad.
And afraid to do something else.
Which brings me to currency.
If we had a different currency to live fully,
I wouldn’t be in this maze.
I wouldn’t work in an organisation with but one entrance and one exit.
If the currency could be love, community, compassion,
I would be the richest woman in the world.
I wouldn’t force my logic onto my children.
I’ve already moulded my eldest.
When I get my children back for the week,
I wish to be still.
To erase the lines of the maze,
so we can be comfortable.
Letting go of the structure that
keeps our children silent and not bothersome.
Not responding to be loved, to be liked.
To not respond because nothing is coming to me.
Leaving that outstanding question from my mother
unresponded to.
Erasing lines that are behind me,
so they cannot continue before me.
I try not to look too much before me,
because… who knows????????
The snow has helped me!
Thank you SNOW!!!
A wonderful silent week under the snow blanket.
Traveling at my own pace.
This group helps me with my perception.
It’s lovely to be curious and to question.

Intrigued with the possibilites-assumptions dynamic.
The calling to stay curious.
“Assumptions” creates form and structure,
locks something into some kind of knowing, or shape
that squeezes out the questioning, the possibility, the curiosity.
And “assumption” from the religious stance:
the immaculate conception that is the assumption.
It’s about conceiving in a way that is beyond
what is deemed to be the way.
It’s the aspect of grace which is key.
That other power, that other dynamic
which is beyond us,
that brings forward the moment of conception.
What does that mean for our quest, here?
It’s a key piece in that story line,
as is the resurrection after 3 days.
It frames the possibility of life in a new way.
I don’t see myself in the domain of religion,
it’s curious that that is what’s coming through.
The holding pattern of original sin must be released.
How can we live the in between,
when there isn’t a beginning and an end?
The World Tree is classed as both Alpha and Omega,
It’s continuing!
Alchemically, when we shift into the ‘final phase’,
the philosopher’s stone,
it’s the shift of stance that allows it:
it’s relinquishing the desire for the stone that allows it to appear.
The Grace that rests in the in-between.
A doorway into a different way of being and becoming
that keeps possibility wide open.

In these liminal times
I’ve been aware of ancestral patterns
—unconscious patterns of thinking and behaving
that don’t belong to me. They belong
to the whole lineage of ancestors in my family
—possibly on both sides:
it seems these patterns draw people together
to reinforce them.
This particular pattern has to do
with throwing buckets of ice-cold water
on any expressions of potential:
that anything could be different or better.
I have experienced this in both my family and my professional life:
when I’ve seen potential, it’s been dowsed in cold water
as soon as I’ve expressed it.
The pain of that.
Over recent weeks I’ve been feeling this pattern coming up
and yesterday I saw it clearly,
and I sense I have now been able to release it
together with its entire history.
What enabled me to release it
was recognising that, with my intimate partners
—especially the men in my life—
what attracted me to them was
their enthusiasm around the potential that they saw;
and in those relationships, it was my job
to throw the buckets of cold water.
It was the unconscious, compulsive drive that I could feel
that woke me up to this pattern:
I don’t like doing this! Why do I keep doing it?
And still it continued, driving my behaviour.
Now, having seen it, I can stop.
At last, I can lean into someone else’s excitement and say
“Tell me what your seeing”
rather than
“That won’t work.”
Feeling these heavy chains of a pattern that have weighed me down
disperse and dissipate.
The inside outness of that was seeing
not just how I had been a victim to that pattern,
but how I had embodied it and played it out for others.
Seeing the full picture by turning it inside out
is what has liberated me from it.
Now there is room for Grace.

In India, spring is arriving.
My heart is racing.
I’m stepping into a journey that is culminating.
Something has clarified as I have listened to you:
I was struggling to make sense of the upside down tree.
I was expecting a reading for the tree to become upright,
or for me to turn upside down.
Needing to find alignment with the orientation of the tree,
the image of the yin and yang came,
we are fine in our respective orientations.
The tree embodies everything that I have a problem with.
My way has been to either try and fit in, or change things.
Now I feel like I’m arriving to a different space,
knowing that I’m OK with the world as it is.
I feel a balance that is held by me holding my ground,
and the tree holding its sky.
I will meet you there in that land
which is beyond right and wrong.
I am a little bit more there, now.

Adding to the grace.
Mary stands for Gaia wisdom.
Those qualities are interchangeable.
Mysticism is the connection.
Diving into Mary’s energy and mantle
is like being hugged by Gaia.
The frequency is the same.
This is the space where I can really rest.
This takes us out of the fear:
In that world everything is whole,
we have all the currencies there.

Late call
My heart is racing!
I see
A stem cell and
its infinite possibilities.
If only I could look at every moment
like a stem cell.

I have spent most of my life living inside a map:
a very impoverished description of reality.
My conditioning—
everything that has ever been told me by a human voice
since my birth.
“If you do not follow the map, you will die.”
No mention at all of the territory.
Those voices also say:
there are no other voices that the human ones.
And yet I hear the voices of the birds,
the voices of the trees,
the voice of my car.
I hear the voices of the sky, the earth, the stars.
And they all speak a different reality;
one which is animate, magical,
radically free.
Now, I’m living in a hybrid space
where the map is in tatters.
I can see right through it,
whichever way I look.
I’m still very aware of my awareness
of the perceived consequences of living
directly in the territory.
I feel like I’m creeping
—every day a little more—
into the territory;
into freedom.
I really want to meet you all there,
so that we can play together!

Looking at the inverted tree,
it is a wonderful symbol for my cosmology,
how I understand the universe.
Energy as sunlight, caught by these pieces of matter,
leaves so thin they are almost translucent,
being made incarnate.
Going through the branches,
down the trunk and into the roots.
The magic of our plants,
the only living beings able to create the
matter that makes up life.
It reflects the new orientation
that invites us to consider that we come from the stars,
into the depths of the world.
This reorientation, this new understanding of who and what I am
is where the question is coming from.
This orientation demands that we turn inside out
everything that I have grown up knowing
about who and where I am,
and what this is about.
Tripping over this image of the tree
has really warmed my heart!

Most of the time,
I get an experience before the question comes in.
This time I got the question before the experience.
A difficult conversation
that started upside down.
I was so glad to be talking to family:
just saying what came to me to say,
then ruminating over what I had said.
Then realising I was standing on an island of love.
It doesn’t matter what I said!
The possibility for tolerance
for whatever words might come out.
A totally different realm
where words don’t matter!

The word “void”.
We started in silence,
ringing ourself into silence through sound.
Inviting silence through its opposite
And yet, they both come from the same place.
What distinguishes life from reality?
It’s like water: whether it’s steam, ice or liquid,
the basic composition is the same.
Always drawing closer to the void.
The mourning that rises from this void.
Grief. Soothing nights, peaceful fire.
The possibility that mourning is natural;
we’re always in it,
what made us dread it so much
that we greet it like a prison?
It has felt like a cushion under my feet,
the support of my back,
the love of all those who walked into the mound.
Rediscovery of this precious world
lies in that mourning.

Looking at things upside down and inside out,
there was a world I was programmed into:
it’s still there.
Now it’s like a mirage.
The past, present and future co-exist.
I don’t choose that old world any more.
I’m embodied, so it is here, part of who I am,
but in the demapping, the destabilising, the turning upside-down,
I can choose presence in a multidimensional space-time continuum.
That’s the possibility zone of the new reality
that’s coming into being.
That’s where I want to be,
trusting, sensing-feeling-intuiting, appreciating, listening,
being with others, as we are here:
It calls us into a new type of collective exploration, creating, wandering.
It’s magical! That’s where I’m drawn!

Collective journeying – meandering.
Remembering my journey to Mount Kailash.
In the last mile, the attention that came, through tension:
I was outside of time and space,
I had to relinquish and release.
Surrender is something you participate in,
a moment of grace.
The depth of my inner and outer coherence was called to the forefront.
The trickster brought me the notion: “I’m going to die”.
Requiring me to call on that which I only call on when I’m in trouble.
One foot in front of the other,
tending to the present moment.
Everything released.
Stripped of everything in that moment.
Everything beyond the ego
was lifted beyond the script.
That changed me in my very DNA.
The space in between…
I can speak of the space on either side,
but the space in between helps me define it.
That moment is forever embodied in me:
it continues to reinforce my belief
that there is no separation.
That I am integral and essential;
that universal intelligence finds its own experience and delight
through me as a human being.
Those non-linear moments
integrate into this beingness
that is a partnership with the divine.
What do I see on my path, and what sees me?
Those moments offer me a map.
And yet we must explore the territory.
How will I be essential in the journey
of bringing in this knowledge?

There’s a large hotel in Boston: the Liberty Hotel.
A recycled prison. An infamous prison.
During Christmas they hang the Christmas trees upside down.
It’s beautiful. Jarring. Unexpected.
You pay attention. It’s a different place.
But I still have this old feeling of dread,
an echo of the awfulness of before.

My heart was beating so strongly
in the silence at the beginning,
the impulse was to let it expand.
Meet all of our hearts, where we all are.
Seeing each face, intending that connection
in the moment.
Treated to the flash of a vision of
meeting, in person, together:
a sunny meeting, outside,
the hubbub of conversation.
Green, warm, mountains,
delicious food laid out.
It was real!
Tuning in with the question,
I received a physical picture
of the reality based in these basic assumptions
turning in on itself,
showing the infinite space of possibility
on the other side, all around,
where anything and everything is possible.
Where we can be in magical co-creation
with the life force, with source;
through the elements, through intention.
Letting the mind be quiet,
nestle in the heart space, receptive, open;
allowing that trust, that taking of each step,
that the ground is there to meet you
when all else is unknown.
There is a solidity to the energy of trust
in the universe
which is trust in ourselves.
There is no distinction.
Words can spectacularly fail to express
the energy wanting to be expressed.
We can rely on vibration.
I imagined each of us as an island of coherence for ourselves,
the connection between us tangible,
creating a web in a different reality,
a different possibility.
The details of that aren’t known
and that’s OK.
Something that arises
is a strong sense of self-responsibility.
Maintaining our own state,
creating our own being.
Frequency coheres form.
Star energy descending
into physical form.
So much focus on ascension,
when first we must descend!
From there we can go anywhere.
Imagine anything.
There’s excitement in this,
when we let go of those limiting maps
to accept that we are the co-creators
of our lives and our universe.
Reconnecting with the magical capacities of creation.

My grandma is 86 year old.
I live in a multigenerational matriarchal unit.
For the first time,
I noticed the shadows in the photograph
of my grandmother and her siblings.
I had never seen that before.

That suggests an ending,
yet the journey continues.
There’s a commencement to the culmination:
we don’t stay still for long.
I love the labyrinth.
I can rest now, I’m done, the journey is complete,
yet I know there’s more to do.
Possibilities can happen as a result of what we choose to do.
The question carries such hope and opportunity,
but that can only happen if we continue to journey together.
Questioning the World Tree.
What could I take from that tree
to share with others and fortify myself?
Knowledge? Wisdom from the collective?
Nourishment? Renewal?
No, just continue on!
The mystery of my daily horoscope:
“honour the space between no longer and not yet.”
There is a sense of urgency about what needs to be done.
Together I hope we continue on our journey.

Muted, camera off,
I have been present in a different way.
I’ve made a bed, put on the washing machine,
cleaned a basin, hung a mirror,
then sat down and was ready to be seen.
I know the field we create here is one where
however we are, we come as we are.
Scared to be seen today.
You travelled with me wherever I went,
doing my little jobs.
I now sit down, feeling at peace.
The last time I joined a call
I still had a father.
We held his funeral in the snow
in central London on Tuesday.
Grief has been a strange friend to make.
I have felt pretty upside-down myself.
Rushing in some moments, still in others.
Conscious of the rapid turnover of feelings.
The need to sit still and be with them.
In this field of friendship I was ready
to run around a bit.
Thank you for being present with me
as I cleared the decks and nested.
That liminal space pulls me.
The moments between death and life,
between grief and release.
Where those moments choose to be
is not in our control.
The call is to stay with that,
not knowing where I am.
There’s a poem that occurs to me:
about that space between:

It’s different to experience a labyrinth
from above.
It’s the same with life.
Seeing it from above, seeing it from beginning to end.
Sometimes that perspective comes to me.
Sometimes I forget.

Check out: How are we stepping into the new?

The future is positive

With curiosity, in deep inquiry

Stepping into what is…
enjoying this liminal space with new curiosity
and with Grace!

With the growing voice of the land.
The sound that pierces through the opacity
of my basic assumptions, calling me to
surrender to that.

I’m not sure what I’m doing.
If I’m stepping into something new,
I’m doing it with awareness of the
limitations of my language.

Am I ready to step into the new?
Still integrating the previous waves.
Rich learning and a wish to go deeper.

I am on the verge of stepping into the new.
I have to embody some stillness,
will do so in the coming days,
to honour the journey I’ve been through
with Collective Alchemy.
Honouring the people,
the teachings, the wisdom,
and myself, for having had the courage to step in,
to start to love vulnerability
and the grace it lets through.
Conscious awareness of slowness,
giving time to time, to appreciate this moment we are in.

I’m feeling very tender.
Hugging, being hugged.
Stepping into the new with a feeling of trust,
acceptance, gratitude,
and a pinch of curiosity.
We have shared deep and meaningful experiences.
What is this new wave going to bring us?
My heart is open and full.

In between…
I hope to step in feeling lighter,
more willing to love.

I will now go back under the snow blanket.
Winter is not yet over.

Wherever I am, I am holding hands
with people I love dearly!

I feel nourished, seated in some inner centre,
not yet stepping anywhere!

Giving time to time.
Preparing to emerge with only one certainty:
I’m breathing.
Stepping with simplicity into the new.

One foot in front of the other,
willing to trust that what I need will be there,
one breath at a time.
Remembering that I’ve been here before.

I feel we’re stepping into the new together,
we’re moving as a body.

I see us greeting the new,
singing together. It is a promise
that we have been made,
and at last it’s being fulfilled!

This feels like the new to me,
being with each other like this.

Don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater!

I go in to go out, to go out to go in.

Flip it.
How are we letting the new step into us?

We are always stepping into the new.

How would I hug you all as we meet?
The energy of embrace.
Embracing the new.

The spot where two circles touch.
The space between no longer and not yet:
a task that is mine/ours
the I diminishes.
We are summoned, and we are ready.
We have what it takes, though we have no clue what’s coming.

Now I know what that means.
Dropping into a different frequency.

Language is incomplete,
but I need to take care to choose my
definition of reality!

Permission to ponder,
to rest awhile,
to ponder.
To consider the potential and the power
of the collective


Warily, with a light heart,
and a lot of partners along the way.

Who showed up:

Justyna, Keerthi Palisetti, Anna Brunain, Inna Chilik, Dounia Saeme, Patricia Hunt Perry, Arielle Goodman, Madeleine Schwab, Jenny Hegland, Pavol Kukucka, Lynda Griebenow, Judy Wallace, Julia Hoffmann, Louise Carpenter, Hugo MacPherson, Christopher Di Franco, Madeline Snow, Aakanksha Singh, Pieter Deceuninck, Wini Condic Begov, An van Damme, Marie-José d’Aprile, Molly Whiteley, Brandon Wade, Ursula Hillbrand, Sarah Whiteley, Helen Titchen Beeth

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Invitation Page

Invitation to Practice

Our invitation to practice Collective Alchemy continues on 12 March 2021

As the waves of change intensify, the community of Collective Alchemists launches its flotilla of coracles into the evolutionary jet stream of the era shift. Come practice with us! Orienting the next Portal Day calls on the arc of the journey so far: Our last portal waveThe two weeks between twice-monthly Collective Alchemy Portal Days (when open practice calls take place), when co-sensing and preparation takes place for the next Portal Day. More washed us

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