Today we are, more than ever before, embedded in a field of vulnerability,
that comes from not knowing.
There’s a lot going on within, around, and in the field that connects us.
The not knowing holds openness,
the energy of potential and possibly also anxiety.
Today we invite us all to hold the space for all of us,
as your capacity to hold and be held allows.
Today, the collective is strongly present,
as we create the container for ourselves and each other,
knowing that it persists after we leave the call.
The container is woven from friendship and trust.
The last weeks and months in the Collective Alchemy field
have been pretty intense.
So many elements and metaphors have been brought forward:
the water and the river,
the wetlands contacting the earth,
images of the coracle, where we are all together in one boat,
and also in our own individual boats,
seeing others, and sometimes not.
Recently we have felt called towards more collectively
materialising what Collective Alchemy is all about.
Part of that is co-framing (we tried that for the first time last portal day).
setting the boundaries and the context
within which we explore.
We had moved into the image of a village,
and last time we built the first elements of that village.
As much as we tried to align ourselves on the same page,
we also felt that that page is under construction still,
more like a lily pad in a larger pond.
We want to see, together, which lily pads we are on,
Which we wish to visit together, which to avoid.
The dynamics of the lily pad make it
not a place to stay forever,
but a place to rest and keep moving.
Daring to leap, sometimes having to swim
to reach the next haven.
We also wish to explore a new level of depth.
One image that has been with us is the rock pool,
which has become very still.
We have connected not just to the waters, but to the layers beneath.
We want to sink deeper,
to touch the bedrock;
to connect to what is beneath:
a fluid, fiery substance—magma.
Hot and full of potential,
literally pushing out a new foundation.
Together we wish to drop layer by layer,
accepting the consequences that come with that.
Let us abandon time for a while,
to connect to that fluid, solid, fiery energy
of the centre of the Earth.
We do so step by step, building on each other,
trusting we each have our pace to drop to the depth
our body permits today,
respecting our limits, daring to sense what is needed.
If we continue on through the layers,
even when we reach the magma,
rather than going deep we go in…
into the molecules, the atoms…
we end up at the level of frequency,
which determines both form and consciousness,
that we can connect with in silence.
“Nature clothes frequencies and gives them form,
according to nature’s principles.”
We are still in the Era Shift, friends!
It’s accelerating, intensifying, deepening.
In our first co-sensing call,
Sarah was on her own.
She felt to listen to a randomly selected track
from Oracle Girl (Jacqueline Hobbs):
You are invited into this space:
“You have an enormous task ahead of you:
an effortless unfolding in total dedication
to only what is there, and nothing else.
Truth alone has no need to contend.
It stands simply as it is.
It is its own protection,
it has its own quality.
It is clear, self-determined.
It is set.”
In these days when there’s so much uncertainty
about what will unfold.
We might still be in the familiar territory
of our thoughts, our feelings and our patterns
of anxiety, control, discomfort…
but as we sink down, beneath that
we find the not knowing.
And underneath that, there is a knowing,
that is radically different to
anything we have ever known or been told.
The invitation of the Era Shift
is to sink ever more deeply into the knowing
beneath the unknowing,
as the Earth herself shifts and changes.
The intention is to move into the new
that we came here knowing was ours to live,
and that is already here,
still clouded by layers of knowing and not knowing.
The question that arose from the announcement text,
which itself came from the last portal day:
AS WE SINK INTO THE KNOWING BENEATH THE NOT KNOWING,
WHAT IS BECOMING AVAILABLE TO US, AS DENIZENS OF THE NEW EARTH
THAT OPENS UP POTENTIAL THAT’S TRULY NEW?
I’ve been struggling
with how my body reacts to images.
Recognising how much of my reality
—what I live in as if it’s reality, and have done all my life—
is a projection of images.
Lots of “what ifs?”
and images of what’s happening ‘elsewhere’.
The power of suggestion.
As I try and pierce through all of that,
there are layers of threat, fear, blandishment…
and particularly: “if you don’t get the V,
you can’t travel,
you can’t ever see your mother or your children again,
they’re going to take away your home and put you in a camp…”
Just images, and fear.
I want to show you the image I see from my window:
a piece of green and a piece of brown;
where sprayed poison has killed vegetation.
That’s a reality,
sitting right in front of my face.
I’m struggling because the images
from the old world keep trying to snag me back in,
when I know that the New Earth is green
And the way it becomes reality
is when I find my way through, or out of, those false images.
The potential that’s truly new,
as a denizen of the New Earth,
is actually living in the truth of what is present in the moment,
and only that.
Not remembered images and imprints from the past.
Not images of the future.
Just the multi-layered richness of the present moment.
Which is all we can be sure of:
what is actually there!
Regarding Collective Alchemy,
the challenge that I’m sensing is
the play between the past and the future,
the harvesting from what we’ve learned,
the preparing for what we’re sensing into…
and the individual and the collective…
while the truth is in what is present as we show up together, here and now.
It always is, whether we are physically in the same zoom room (!)
or off out living our lives, there are bonds between us,
that can hopefully help us to anchor into the truth of the moment,
whether we are together virtually, physically, synchronously… or not.
There’s a scariness about actually being
where I’ve always only ever been,
which is here, and now, with what is,
whilst so much of my attention and consciousness
has been engaged in an illusion.
It’s been raining,
This morning, I stepped out into pulsating green.
Dropping down through the layers,
I found an overwhelming desire
Be in silence.
At the same time, I’m excruciatingly aware
of what needs tending:
Family relationships that work.
How intense is the interface
between the two realities.
How I’m called to operate from somewhere new,
both the in process of becoming a new human
and in what it means to be a new human.
There’s such a strong desire
to leave behind all the old human stuff:
words, thinking, ego, identity,
thinking I’m in control and
that what I do is significant…
Allowing myself instead to be an elemental being.
I’m just an arrangement of elemental building blocks
in constant flow, as part of nature.
What is it to operate from there?
How does that work?
And how does the collective function within that?
What’s the new definition of the collective,
when everything is the collective?
The onus is on being our true selves.
The dream of the new human,
simply being ourselves,
apparently an individuated being,
yet existing within the total flow and harmony of nature.
Any interaction is with other sovereign beings
who are also being themselves within the natural whole.
What’s that like?!
To be like a cat? Like a tree? A sweet pea?
Yesterday, teaching a gentle yoga class,
I had a moment of awareness of an identity,
as I was sitting, speaking, consciously,
as a yoga teacher,
and then there was a GAP.
Moving and demonstrating what I was inviting from the class,
everything dropped away,
into a deep NOTHING.
All I could hear was my voice,
and an intensity around the need to speak,
and my vision.
It was scary.
What is happening to me?
Teaching a class, and feeling I’m about to die!
I stayed with it and it passed,
but the experience is still with me.
It prompts me to be even more present
with the reality of how much is changing,
that we are changing.
It appears to be a grand exercise in TRUST!
We might have a dream of how things might be,
and there is a knowing that everything’s fine,
being OK with releasing fear of death.
This, my third near-death experience,
was different—I was conscious throughout,
there was a surrender involved.
I drew a picture of lily pads on a river.
Normally they are on a pond, something static,
whereas in our coracles we are moving.
Dropping deeper, a pond is not static:
it’s a complete ecosystem.
Coming back round to the collective,
it seems we are in both those places,
in our Collective Alchemy field.
I’m left with an existential, answerless question
that holds the space:
How can I be both the current of change
and the lily pond?
The whole, nature, the earth
are all there,
and there is a current of change flowing through it,
washing out much that has been present for a long time
which no longer has a place here.
That’s what happened yesterday, I guess:
A kicking out of what was no longer me.
Sensing into the question of what is the knowing
that lies beneath the not knowing,
I sensed the peace, the power, the trust,
as I connected to the knowing
by piercing through the layer of the not knowing.
My spine is filled with slow-moving magma
that holds and remoulds my body.
What is the new potential?
It. Just. Is.
Pure and simple.
Stillness that is very alive,
ready to move when
—and only when—
I’m not making many words these days.
I’ve been close to the fluid experience of magma,
transformational presence, constant movement.
The strange experience of language as violent:
trying to put words onto what we have no words for,
or have lost the language for,
and when the words are wrong,
The image of the fiery fluidity of magma resonates.
“Going to pieces without falling apart.”
We do not need to fall apart to go to pieces:
It’s a re-organisation of our 50-70 trillion cells
going to work to evolve us.
Words of trust and surrender,
the missing language of birthing.
There is a death to your identity
when you become a mother.
You are no longer one,
you are two; you become a WE.
Perhaps, collectively, too
there is the death of identity as singular pieces into the WE.
Being where I am. In touch with what’s around.
Back in lockdown, all around heartbreak
mothers being overwhelmed.
It feels nice to have the neighbour’s kids in the house.
It’s simple to receive this energy
whilst relieving the overburden of another.
Today my son got his first car.
Image and reality:
Identity is when
you give an entity an ID.
An ID being an image
that you’re expected to adhere to:
“yes, this is me”.
But it’s not.
Without the ID, we are entities.
I need to draw on metaphor
to find some kind of shape
for the energy that’s moving.
The magma, the foundations unfolding from within,
connects with the going to pieces without falling apart.
Within that mix is the sense
of the dissolution of the caterpillar.
Trusting the imaginal cells are there.
The dissolution feels like a dying process,
as if, energetically, a quicksand is drawing us in.
Is it a near death? Or is it a death?
It feels so palpable,
it all relates to how I’ve felt in the last couple of days
—including around Collective Alchemy.
A dying process, a dissolution.
How to hold the space?
I recognise a mother energy in this,
and yet it’s transforming.
Just as in the magma there’s a bubbling up,
a crystallising on the surface,
there’s another energy going deeper,
that feels all-consuming.
I feel deep frustration to not find the words
that articulate what I’m holding.
The vulnerability that seems so woven in the newness,
and then the knowing that letting go
is essential for the new to emerge.
Death does occur,
and the death throes are part of the movement
towards the surrender,
over the threshold,
through the opening into the new cycle.
It feels essential to be in the enormity of that with others,
not just alone.
This is not a singular journey;
we’re in it together.
Life is taking us this way.
Within that, grieving is important,
in honouring the transit:
it keeps things from falling apart
as the pieces reconfigure.
Something becoming available in these times
is some kind of confidence
through knowing—not only the old outside myself but inside myself.
That used to be scary, but lately
there’s no need to be afraid,
because I know the path to the new.
I’ve been there before;
I weave back and forth.
This is a key element that I need,
that supports me.
If you overthink your preparations for a journey,
that confidence needs to be in my backpack.
It’s new, I have not had it before:
a huge pull.
The ability to see ourselves on that path,
back and forth,
with the trust that it’s already fine,
just as it is,
wherever I find myself.
At least the next layer of what is not known,
for this entity,
is knowing why I showed up on this planet in the first place.
I don’t know that.
Slowing down my sense of time might reveal that,
but until I pass through that layer,
I have no hope—I don’t think—
of knowing what we’re collectively doing here,
or what the Earth’s intent is.
I’d be satisfied to start with what am I doing on this planet.
What’s lying beneath the not knowing
—I always go up in my mind,
and it was great to go down into the magma—
is elements of choosing again:
putting things together in a way that’s original, a fit.
I like the deconstructing aspect,
and the creative potential…
Like the Adam and Eve story,
going back and making different choices at the very beginning.
Our capabilities to do that
are what we have now.
Waking up to the fact that it’s possible.
The circumstances are at the magma level,
so pregnant and important and dire,
full of ACT NOW,
so we get really clear,
to make different choices.
I think a lot of people are diving down to the magma these days.
To share an observation
of what happened inside my own body,
at the first two shares:
In the silence I got centred and powered up
by being connected to the magma.
Then dropped in the notion
that maybe this whole Earth has no sense,
or at least, I don’t know what the sense of the Earth in the universe is…
and I literally felt my heart knocked out of my body.
Which made me realise
how much my centre connects
to that centre of the Earth,
and how knocking that to a different place in the universe
moved my self as well.
Then returning to the magma,
I felt again a place to connect and to centre.
That’s highly uncomfortable
and extremely opening to a new perspective.
The truly new…
At any moment, even speaking it, it’s old.
Just beyond, just right there…
And thoughts, images, models,
things that have been with me and continue to change
are not truly new.
What feels like it’s truly new
—not a brand new thought, but
one that comes in differently in this moment—
is this sense that the old has more of a verticality, linearity to it…
the paradigm, the notion of what we ‘know’…
and the new paradigm, the era shift, is
somehow more expansive,
in order to fully be with it, letting all that go
and being on that edge of the truly new,
which is so momentary.
There’s something about that
forgetting of what we’re used to,
and the exposure to that element of surprise
and not knowing…
the words ‘edge’, ‘momentary’… we know…
What do we not know right now?
One notion that has arisen for us in our explorations of Collective Alchemy
has been this notion of Integral Consciousness,
as intuited by Jean Gebser.
Being in this kind of collective inquiry,
where we teeter on the brink of things
we can’t think, let alone speak—
are we even wired to perceive them?
And yet there is some kind of sensing and imagination
that allows us to there, or think that we can.
There are ways of knowing that we have had in the past,
before we could think the way we think now
—before we had this linear, mental, rational, bright light, daytime consciousness—
there were ways in which we could perceive
that we have lost access to,
because you need the shadows in the corners
in ways that are impossible when the fluorescent light is full on.
There is something about memory
—whatever it is that makes memory possible—
and how we organise memory spatially
and project the future, spatially…
the way we organise our perception and notion of time;
of things that no longer are but have been,
and we’ve told stories about them,
of things that aren’t yet, but we can imagine,
by extrapolating from the past, what they might be in the future…
We do this all the time,
we build our decisions, our very civilisation, on this fabric.
All of that keeps us trapped, somehow,
in this space that we’ve turned into a shared, rather ugly nightmare.
And yet, there is something in my body that is of Nature,
that can do Silence and No Thought,
and just Pure Eros,
and Time Freedom,
and No Identity,
and No Content,
but Full, Unmediated, Seamless Participation.
I so want to know what that is like when we share it,
when we can see each other in that way.
I feel like I’m flip-flopping between states:
that habitual way of perceiving and living,
and this totally new…
my word for it is Freedom.
Unconstructed, unmediated participation, together.
As you were speaking
I could go to a place in me and in us
that I or we rarely access.
It feels like it’s below the not-knowing.
For me, the not knowing in my life
—when I’m able to let go of what I think I want or know,
or what would be the best solution—
something shows up,
that maybe isn’t truly new, but wasn’t there before.
In my body, there is a frequency resonance if it feels right.
There’s an inner atunement, alignment
that I sense and know and feel.
But the way we construct identities,
and work from the past to the future,
the way we work with time,
in this transition, it seems to me
we are being asked to explore
what’s beyond all of that?
When all of that can be let go.
I can feel the power of that in me.
It’s probably why,
over the last ten years or more,
I have really felt the inner knowing to be with others
in this kind of inquiry, conversation, exploration,
how each time some piece of not-knowing is revealed.
So often, when exploring what is unknown,
what is revealed is something I already knew.
Oh! It’s that!
There’s a pattern there
which shows up that I recognise.
So in exploring the unknown,
it may have been previously known
—at least the pattern is known.
Then there’s the piece of
bringing it back and embodying it
as the known,
to empty out the unknown again, so
I can go to something that is not visible yet.
You might never have thought it before,
but when it comes to you,
you recognise it.
Who, or what, is recognising?
The who or what is experiencing and perceiving
through this body
is expanding, somehow.
There’s a potency that’s entering form
inside my body.
It’s like tapping the bottom of a jar
so you can put more dried goods into it.
Every day I live taps the jar a bit,
so that when I go to sleep, more can come into me,
and when I wake up in the morning,
I call that the ‘multidimensional self’.
That knows ways of playing in 3 dimensions
that my smaller self can’t conceive of.
It was either Aldous Huxley or JD Sallinger…
Before he would teach his kids language
he would take them out into nature
and show them how to meditate.
I’ve been thinking about that ever since!
I used to teach a course called
alternative ways of knowing.
I realise that what we were going to,
was beyond knowing.
I didn’t have that language or perspective then,
but where we walked was
looking at the field.
I could see it was really listening.
On the surface of the world
there’s so much distraction and noise,
so many ways that the attention is pulled apart.
But this idea of going within and finding
that still space where there’s choice
and conscious framing…
there’s also a place where
the elements are basic
(thinking of the magma).
We need that simplicity and clarity now.
Like iron filings to a magnet,
we orient and know the right way to go.
You can’t access unprocessed wisdom
without slowing down to that…
wisdom that is moving with flow,
expansive, momentary, like lava.
The simplicity of going back to elements
and leaving the noise.
And the discernment of knowing which is which.
I’m with the ricochets,
as if a baseball had been struck into the outer field
and then thrown to the centre again.
What has come to my attention
is a lot of vibration in my heart.
I’m perceiving knowing as a sphere,
and not knowing as a sphere,
and I don’t know how they fit together.
There is something about the throws of what is brought into the circle
that creates a dent, or an opening, becomes very elastic.
That’s my lived experience of this call so far.
I’m not sure if knowing lies underneath…
If it’s a sphere, where does it reside?
But what I have lived in this practice
is the sphere of not-knowing,
and the sphere of knowing is amplified
because we’re in a collective.
I had this perception:
Is it that we choose?
Do we make choices?
Or is it simply that the knowing lands in any one of us
as a node, of picking up that frequency,
that is then named,
that then allows the treasure hunt…
some essence that crystallises,
creating an ability to move to another place,
or opens the field even further,
because something has come in.
How do you align with the knowing
as it opens on that edge,
like in a cave,
the orb that has come through the layers of ground
to then create the next crystalline unfolding
of the stalactite or stalagmite.
It has that kind of energy.
Where the collective aspect, the alchemising aspect comes in,
where what’s becoming available is our willingness to
come together and keep leaning over the edges
that feel so excruciating, like we’re hanging by a thread of our knowingness,
yet it’s the collective that holds that ability to keep that tension long enough,
before the next aspect is named.
Staying with, and keeping the ‘focus’, the dedication to be seeking:
is that truly new?
Somehow the pacing of spaces such as these,
to allow the fumbling for the words, even.
It’s not a fully-formed thought;
that’s where we actually need to be together.
It’s being patient enough,
to keep seeking the next impulse.
In my own experience,
more often the frequency has something to say,
and I’m extracting it,
but it’s not an edge, it’s a life transition
where the word starts forming out of the experience.
There’s no clear edge there, but there’s certainly a transition.
But the words, as you spoke them,
gave me access to the space from which they were arising,
so I could see how this entity felt,
and what language it had to translate that with.
So when we come together,
words allow sharing.
It’s one thing to be in silence,
but to hear what you’re speaking into my existence,
yes, there may be some space in me that’s sensing that,
but the fact that you’re bringing it in linguistically,
and there’s a part of me that knows how to go through
there to the space that it came from:
what is it saying to me?
Words as wormholes.
so you can go back through
into the space from which they came!
Go back and re-experience
the twinkle in your father’s eye!
To do with the kaleidoscopic aspect.
There is a string of moments of Nah, Nah, Nah…
that’s not it…
and then there’s a WOW!
There’s something there.
And then it’s gone again.
There are moments when we do that individually,
and there are moments when we do it collectively.
The collective ones are very rare,
but when we find them,
we know them.
When they happen,
something happens inside the morphogenetic field of humanity…
Something quickens in the field of potential for humanity.
The alchemising bit
—I’ve witnessed many of us in this—
is the burning away of every thought form that isn’t it.
Old. Programming. Nonsense. Ego… Bahhhh!!!
The constant burning away of everything we recognised
as not being us.
“This is not me”.
I’ve spent years protecting it, defending it, suffering over it,
but it’s not me!
This is a space where that can happen.
In those turns of the kaleidoscope,
those moments of Nah… Nah… Nah…
that’s what’s happening.
This calcination of all that is false.
In a way, when we leave this circle, we turn our backs
and step out into our lives.
But what happens when we each take it with us,
into our lives?
That permanent calcination?
Life—the consensual life that we’ve all agreed to live together—
won’t let most of us slow down enough
to have the space.
Part of the New Earth
—it’s what Nature does—
is living at the speed of life.
One of the things that allows me to live like this
is that I carry with me at my back
every circle I have ever sat in.
And they’ve been countless.
But I know what we are capable of,
and I know what is at our essence.
This pure love and silence, the radiance
which is the essence of humanity.
And that kaleidoscopic knowing is the core.
is at the core of life.
No organisation, no planning, no projecting,
there’s just ‘orchestration’
—not orchestration with a conductor and rehearsals—
but all the different instruments bringing their voices
in attunement, in alignment, in resonance.
Because all the senses are focused on
here, now, this.
Left Brain Right Brain,
The left brain learns how to play the piece of music
but cannot actually play it: that is the domain of the right brain.
How does language do that?
We have an unknown,
we language it on the left side,
then pass it back to the holistic side.
The languaging does something for us, but what?
It certainly moves things along, somehow.
But only if it passes back…
For every individual,
each word has a unique gestalt of experience
that is multisensory
(like Lyn’s chickpea stew!).
When we are unreduced,
when we allow ourselves to be in our fullness,
even the mental-rational can be useful!
Can language do anything else
than taming and constraining the tangled wild?
I am noticing a recurring experience
throughout this call,
where we try to define a boundary between two things:
the knowing and the not-knowing
—as if there’s always a sharp boundary in between.
Personally, I love getting boundaries,
because then I can start trying to break them,
resist them, find the edge…
they give something to hold on to,
they give purpose.
Instead of what is beyond the not-knowing,
perhaps it’s more helpful to ask:
what if we let go of not knowing?
What if we let go of that sharp definition?
My body relaxes.
I don’t have to fight, and seek, and be active…
I can just be with it!
That’s when I realise that the new
that is being unveiled
has been there all along!
Releasing artificial boundaries.
Awareness replacing activity.
In relation to language…
the word “penumbra”
surfaced through a time-dilation moment.
Spotlight revealed a harvested conversation
“I cannot put my finger on it.
It has to do with all of the different ways in which we know.
I am reading a book called You are not a Gadget, by Jaron Lanier,
talking about ‘lock-in’,
this phenomenon where you get stuck
on a particular path in software
because everything is so connected
and interlinked and impossible to change.
“Lock-in removes ideas that do not fit
into the winning digital representation scheme,
but it also reduces or narrows
the ideas it immortalizes,
by cutting away the unfathomable penumbra of meaning
that distinguishes a word in natural language
from a command in a computer program“.
The word ‘penumbra’ is defined
as the partially shaded outer region of the shadow
cast by an opaque object
– like the shadow cast by the Earth.
The point being that a word, any word,
has so many layers of meaning that we can’t see or grasp,
but we know them and we understand all of that
when we hear normal language.
But digital image or language is flat, black and white.
It is exactly all the stuff we know under the surface,
the richness and complexity of our consciousness,
our knowing, our relationship
with each other, and nature,
which cannot be captured or represented.
But it’s as if we’re coming to a choice point,
where our technology wants us to go in a different direction
that cannot take all of that with it.
And so it becomes very important
to really consciously and intentionally engage
with all of that implicit, tacit knowing.
A whole set of skills and capacities
around being able to engage with each other in that realm,
under the surface,
This reminds me of the metaphor
of the mycelium you refer to in the Practice Guide.
It’s not just today…
there’s apathy going on these days.
Touching on language has activated me;
English is not my native tongue
and I’m noticing that the words
are not resonating.
They are not doing anything.
They are bouncing off me.
Searching the Practice Guide for clues
as to what’s happening,
but I think it’s just a treasured state of Not Knowing
and I should just let it be.
There is no way of coming out of this.
It’s a new sensation.
One clue is letting go of Time.
I’m realising how imprisoned I am by time.
So there is some knowing, some resonance.
It’s not action, it’s awareness!
There’s something familiar here.
In collective spaces
we’re bumping up against a cloud ceiling.
What is new?
This could be exciting but it feels very familiar.
There is something—a barrier?—beyond.
Maybe there’s a going through
something entirely different.
I’m reminded of a dream
where I understood that everything
is happening simultaneously.
That’s a little signpost from
my multidimensional self,
that can grok that,
where my 3-4D body,
that operates in time,
can’t manage it.
That’s a metaphor:
we’re looking for something new,
and it’s something we’ve known all along,
because we’re not who we think we are!
It’s time to make space in ourselves
for more of who/what we actually are.
That has so much more capacity
for different ways of being, experiencing, perceiving,
and that wants to show up here! Now!
In this mess!!
Who showed up
Brigitte Kupfer, Marie-José d’Aprile, Louise Carpenter, Anna Brunain, Patricia Hunt Perry, Justin Frank, Madeleine Schwab, Wini Condic Begov, Lyn McDonell, Judy Wallace, Kim Maynard, Ursula Hillbrand, Peter Deceuninck, Sarah Whiteley, Helen Titchen Beeth.