Harvest of Collective Alchemy Circles—10 September 2021



It’s been 6 weeks since we have been gathered around a question prepared by a co-sensing team. None of us have stood still since we last met – we have all experienced some tense times, even existential shifts. Today, as always, we want to invite our lived experiences into the circle, placing that raw material together into the crucible for alchemising.

Continuing our pattern of practice that we sense still serves our time together… In the co-sensing journey (it’s been murmuring over time, for some time) we’ve been in the oscillation between the Positiva and the Negativa. In this portal wave we have sensed a flip: rather than focusing on the dross, the prima materia of the alchemical process, why not focus on the desired state: the gold? Reaching through from the oscillation into the newness of the Via Creativa – a wholeness or completeness that allows the movements to dance in a different way. Can we tune in from the space of the gold frequency of togetherness? What we are tuning into is what is calling us forward from the future – not a destination as such, because the future is not given.

From the text of the announcement, that holds the bandwidth of our co-sensing: “As we have come together to co-sense what is present in the field of our purpose (“to prepare awakening humans to step into co-creative, transformative, generative (r)evolution with all life”), we have found ourselves very much picking up where we left off: at the tipping/flipping point in the liminal space of the eye of the torus.

We remain within the paradox of collective alchemical practice: you cannot serve the future by sacrificing the present, and you cannot serve community by sacrificing the self. As the Era Shift progresses and intensifies, as the old world dies and the new world struggles to be born—including our own ‘old selves’ dying, and even perhaps questioning whether we want to live on in physical form as this liminal time of transition and uncertainty extends indefinitely, waiting for our new selves to show up—the lived experience of the dual path of Collective Alchemy is re-affirmed: the Via Negativa is the path of removing what is false; the Via Positiva is the path of living what is true. Sometimes it’s excruciatingly painful, sometimes it’s euphoric. What is more, over our months of co-sensing we have been intuiting the emergence of the Via Creativa* meandering towards us from the future. While still rare, there are moments when we find our feet on that path. An evolutionary phenomenon that cannot be willed or contrived, its qualities emerge from—among other things— the dawning of Integral Consciousness in the human collective; it seems to be strewn with magical synchronicities and experiences of communion and togetherness.

One of the principles of Collective Alchemy is “keep it close”: one way or another, information—no matter how subtle—comes to us through the body (both our individual body and our collective body). Even when there is a vast overarching question guiding an inquiry (like: What does it mean to be navigating the Era Shift Together?), the question we take into the silence with us as we enter circle together needs to be sufficiently close to our own lived experience in order for the body to resonate and react or respond. It also needs to open up to both the individual dimension of our own unique journeys towards maturation and our collective experience as a cohort of practitioners—particularly the ‘golden’ alchemical energy of togetherness as we travel.”

What has been our experience of treading the dual path,
and what intimations might we be receiving of the Via Creativa?

Early Circle
I feel uncertain
with the language of the dual path
—my interpretation of it—
most of my attention would be going to
removing what is false…
in an angry state, with much internal criticism
and the fight of ridding.
Not really helpful in removing what is false.
So I’m stepping back from the judgement
attached to such words.
Instead stepping into self-compassion
and appreciation for ways of being that used to be
intelligent survival strategies
and that now no longer make sense.
Being angry at those parts of me doesn’t help!
I look with other eyes at the Via Negativa,
seeing it as less negative than I used to.
That part of the way is still most alive and present
because it creates the space for the other paths to emerge.
I feel I’m getting a glimpse of them: just short flashes.

Inviting myself
not to go into thought.
What arose was two very simple images:
The dual path weaving along together
in linear time,
while the Via Creativa is less of a road
and more of a timeless phenomenon.
These two visual representations
have shown me something of the limitations
of the dual path:
it’s going in one direction,
where much potential is not accessible,
while the Creativa allows potential to expand in all directions
from a centre point.
If I’m focusing on working with the dross,
clearing the negative,
then swinging into tracking the truth.
There’s a constant pendulum swing.
It’s like being in a tunnel.
When I have given myself permission
to step out of that
—by holding close the ‘belief’ that everything is fine as it is—
it opens a different space,
that’s centred, sometimes more contracted, sometimes more expanded,
but with a sense of stability
and spaciousness.
It’s a feeling of expansion in all directions
and a supersonic speed
—like a comet flying through space,
everything falling away behind—
and love is arising in my awareness.
It seems to me that it’s easier to stay present
with the frequency of love
when I’m in the Creativa.

These days, I’m very awake to a sense of wholeness in my life.
Not in my experience of life at the moment,
but in the whole of the time that I have been around
in this particular body.
Inside myself
—regardless of external experiences and circumstances—
there’s always been a ‘seed’.
A seed that has been waiting for right timing,
sometime in the future,
to become my future self.
And yet, my future self has been there, fully formed,
inside that seed right from the beginning.
That, too, I experienced, as the core of myself.
It’s a sense of potent, intense presence,
very vast and complex.
I have come to call it my multi-dimensional self.
And the Positiva/Negativa Path that I’ve walked
over my biographical timeline
has been preparing
my physical, emotional, mental and spiritual body
to receive, to embody, that intense, vast, complex presence.
So it’s a bit of a paradox:
it has always been there,
but within my conditioned body
—that ‘self’ that has picked up all the conditioning & trauma,
that binds into the storyline of society
and whatever echo chamber I’ve resonated with at any time,
whatever us vs them I’ve momentarily been in.
Looking back, my life has been a preparation for now,
for these times.
That feeling of now:
“now the Time is Right” to start to allow that seed
—that I must have brought with me—
to unfurl.
These days I’m experiencing just how strongly I have depended on
my cognitive capacity, my mind full
of thought forms, meaning, things that don’t come from me;
things I’ve read, things I’ve heard…
how many times have I thought I’d arrived
at an original conclusion and the next day
seen affirmed that someone else got there before me!
Also recognising the ‘interdependent co-arising of all phenomena’
that the Buddhists teach.
These days I sense that that thoughts and thinking
are not serving at this time;
that something else is needed
that doesn’t come from the conceptual consciousness or the conscious will.
It’s like learning to be blind, deaf and dumb as a survival strategy.
As if all the things I’ve learned to survive
are no longer fit for purpose.
It’s like I’m inside that seed now,
instead of it being inside of me.
Because everything I have seen and experienced in the world, isn’t it.
I sometimes have these little flashes and intimations
that everything and anything is possible,
once we learn to experience ourselves undiluted, in our fullness.
I am reminded of the words of Cynthia Bourgeault:
“… these domino chains of individuals are being pressured
evolutionarily to reconfigure as “persons”
—i.e., at a higher evolutionary stage—
where the functional unit of consciousness is no longer the boundaried ego
but the interpenetrating and diffusive Witnessing Self:
What if true persons are circles
whose centers are nowhere
and whose circumferences are everywhere?
Within this even-now-unfolding Integral structure of consciousness
the direction-of-flow is from the whole to the part…”
I can’t see or hear or speak in that place,
but I can feel it, I can sense it.
It’s a little bit like teetering on the edge of orgasm.

As soon as I entered the call
I felt the peaceful, delicate love
emanating from you all
—like coming home.
I didn’t need to think about the words
in the invitation.
I could sense into everything
without needing to know the words and definitions.
I felt relieved.
I had been feeling I was off course,
not resonating.
But there are these moments
that you can’t explain,
where everything emanates from a place
like a big ball of fire
that you feel yourself.
Those flashes, that you’re truly emanating from within.
I’ve been struggling these weeks and months
because I’ve resisted words and concepts,
with massive headaches.
I’m happiest when I’m blind, deaf and dumb
—when I’m not trying to understand everything.
I’m so over that!
And yet I’m still very much on that dual path,
and sure I always will be.
Struggling to be born.
The liminal is there, you can feel it,
and it consciously opens up this true ‘me’.
It struggles—it’s overdue.
There’s toxicity in me.
My body has been purging by itself.
The sheep moment released my headache.
Last night I went to a concert for the first time in over 18 months.
I just danced. The fireball emanating within me,
my feet so light.
Today I’m aching, but then I didn’t feel it.
The joy of musicians performing again
before a live audience—at long last.
The moment the music starts,
and you feel ONE in that roomful of strangers.
That, too, is the golden togetherness.
I’m finding it easier to be alone in togetherness
than to be together with people I know
—with the words, explanations, justifications that requires.
So the Via Creativa and golden frequency
are all about leaving concepts and restrictions behind,
and surrendering to that fireball.
My deepest wish is to be dancing in that field!
It’s wonderful to be at this point in the journey.
I’ve been very much on the Via Negativa.

Struck by the image
of what looked like a breast.
A circle with a dot in the middle.
A stone with ripples coming out of it.
A radio mast with broadcast waves.
Struck by the description
of the future contained in the past and the present.
The seed holding the person.
Something in something else
is what I’m sensing.
Confirmed by a tingle down the back of my neck,
to bring my awareness now
to exactly where I am.
Observing my body as I come back into practice.
Into awareness.
I’ve been hearing the pings on the Telegram platform
but rarely going there.
Called to come here now, to sit in practice
with a basic level of awareness.
My body is going through a wrestle,
a writhing. A strange ticking feeling
in the left side of my body,
some kind of reaction to sitting still and sharing.
The idea of the parcel,
something now being a container
for something to come,
and the way that it already holds the clue
to what will be,
that already is, because it’s in the parcel.
It feels like we trip into concentric circles of meaning,
hand over hand, like the children’s game:
who’s on the outside? Who’s on the bottom?
Perhaps the steps that we take:
letting go, reaching out,
keeping and seeking
leaving and shedding.
In that process, is there also a sense of
those things coming away.
As you suck a gobstopper sweet,
each layer, colour, flavour is revealed
as it rolls around in our mouths.
This week I was struck
by something I heard in a discussion on sense making:
the problem with trying to make sense of anything at the moment
is that we can’t agree on what the problems are,
because everyone has a different version of reality.
That’s the discourse that is ‘out there’.
Then there’s the parcel for the discourse that happens ‘in here’.
How does that parcel give birth
to its future that it’s carried with it?
How can our sense making make sense for those outside?
‘Cos I’m afraid for people who realise,
but who are too afraid to say,
that we can’t agree on what the problems are,
because everyone has a different version of reality.
While the quality of this conversation,
this practice, this network, this field,
the quality we have for any creativa
is the quality of safety.
And then the paradox begins again:
out of the safety of the womb, the cocoon
the breaking of the shell, the seedpod,
the present that unwraps itself on Christmas day,
how do we open the safety that we enjoy and create together
and manifest it in a wilder but still more precious place of
everyone else?

My sense of my alone experience
is possible because I’m being held by others.
That’s the condition.
The safety.

Gold dust in the beads
of my comboloi.
The dual path embodied
in the twisted beads.
And then there’s a gap
without beads,
and the thread of oneness.
The interwovenness
into the aspect moving forward.
What is being named here
by each of you
are reflections of my own orbit.
From my singularity,
the point in my centre
I can feel what you name
as energies within me.
Some closer to my centre than others.
But that palpable sense of ‘togethering’,
that is the waters we swim in together.
It might take time to get there,
There is a healthy aspect to separateness,
but there’s also the feeling of ‘being separated’,
that cuts us off from togetherness.
Beyond the Creativa is the Transformativa
—those moments of shift, of joyous timelessness,
when there’s no feeling of anything being separated.
Part of the field.
We perceive timelessness as a feature of childhood.
But it’s also letting go of the construct of time.
I have a healthy suspicion of sense making these days,
because I can get tied in knots.
If the point is being in the centredness,
am I aware that there is gold?
Can I tune into that,
rather than getting caught in the lack, loss, leave-taking, suffering?
And then the flood of dross leaving
flows through my system, devastating, all-encompassing
on its way out.
In these practice fields, the thread of oneness
and the golded energy
passes a shard through my system,
shining on the whole of the web.
The felt sense of: Ah!
There it is again!

I’ve been intensely experiencing
the dual path in the past month.
In the past week I have felt the intimate invitations,
deeply personal,
of the Via Creativa.
It is calling, almost shouting,
but only now can I hear,
because only now do I tune into that frequency.
As I wrote that down, I felt my belly resonate.
The natural frequency, where the whole oscillates.
My bodily Via Creativa resonates to the frequency
of the broader Via Creativa (out there)
at a shared natural frequency.
The frequency at which a system tends to oscillate
in the absence of any driving or damping force.
Which is so much what I experienced in the Positiva and Negativa
—if that goes away, what opens out?
This feels like a liberation out of polarity.
With a sadness for the time it closed off
and anxiety: can I still do this again?

Late call
I have spent most of my life on the Negativa path,
shedding myself, trying not to be here on the planet.
Recently, there has been a shift,
but I am now inhabiting my body,
perhaps being fully embodied,
choosing to be here,
rather than feeling I didn’t belong
and seeking to experientially exit this place.

This morning I tried to stay out of my mind and language,
seeking to show visually how I have been experiencing
the dual path and the Via Creativa
(which is a sphere, not a circle)
The dual path is a process through linear time, directional.
The margins don’t come into play—it’s like a tunnel.
The Creativa is more of a state than a process,
out of time—or in the quantum realm where time is less effectual.
There’s an aspect of infinity to it—it goes out in all directions,
limitless: everything is possible.

I’ve been having quite the clear recognition of
moments of the Negativa
moments of the Positiva
moments of the Creativa.
It used to be that,
however much dross I burned,
it still ended up back in my space…
Now, I’m seeing it leaving.
Not only my own personal patterns
but also (mostly) stuff that I’m recognising
isn’t me, never has been me.
A lot of ancestral material,
family patterns…
they are leaving too.
There might be a directionality to it,
I’m noticing that this clearing of the dross
is also changing the past
—to the extent that my body is no longer holding
the imprints of trauma it used to hold.
So time is being funky!
The Positiva —in terms of experiencing ever more of
the truth of what I am—
is quite intense, and getting more so.
So I’m learning to hold more intensity.
Once those patterns of distraction, absencing, dissociation
are removed, then I have to be with what is actually there,
which is incredibly intense, and complex and vast.
It’s the interplay of those two things
that are bringing the Creativa more into presence.
There’s a cleanness to experience
that makes me realise how much of what I have experienced
in my life, in my relationships, even in the varying states of my bedroom…
is a mirror. A reflection of my inner life.
As that has emptied of content and patterns and busyness,
everything has become more quiet, peaceful, restful.
I’m no longer being troubled by the shit show
going on in the world.
I have to go and find it, pick it up
like a fistful of nettles,
flagellate myself with it if I want to feel it…
It’s no longer coming at me
as a mirror of my inner world.
That leaves me free to be very still,
to experience more of myself,
more of what’s actually around me,
rather than what I’m projecting.

A synchronicity that feels powerful.
When the question first came up,
this image of a woman walking down a path,
perhaps a dirt road,
being pulled by her clothing on one side,
semi-aggressively ripped off.
On the other side, another form of shedding,
gentler, but no less powerful,
more of a disrobing.
And she continues to walk,
while these two forces are pulling.
She ends up stripped naked,
there’s a sense of the Creativa:
absolute potential, that future aliveness,
but not sweet or sticky;
almost like that sphere,
the air around her is potent, interactive,

My journey on the dual path
has been extremely deep.
I’ve been in a world of awe for a year,
and a world of pain—emotional and physical—for two.
Every day.
I didn’t expect it.
The world on my shoulders. Weight upon weight.
And still I was able to take it
—maybe because I can.
Now I am coming out of it.
I feel so relieved.
While the world has been avoiding,
I’ve been confronting it head on.
Now I’m ready! Shitting rainbows,
a world builder.
Nothing stopping me. Antifragile.
If only I could share it with someone,
this childlike passion that anything is possible.
I wish people would join me!
I’m waiting for them.

Time becoming funky!
Time becoming intensity,
rhythm and interval.
Something Jung said about
series of dreams that come through in childhood.
Those dreams are not threaded on a timeline,
they radiate outward from the centre of a sphere.
There is a dual tension in this dual path,
the tension between the Negativa and Creativa,
between our individuality and our collectivity.
The intensity centres itself in the crucible of the heart.
Those intervals need to be stretched and elongated.
They will be slower and more intense.
I don’t know if that Via Creativa is a place
on that line that will be in the future
and I’ll show up there.
No, it’s in the centre.
That rhythm, that tension
will always be in the time sense.
My being is not on the line or in the centre,
It’s something more mysterious
that ironically traverses all of it.
God, it is intense!
It is intensifying…

I feel I’ve been treading that dual path
this summer and for the past year.
I feel like I’ve done the flip,
now inside out.
I feel acutely choiceful.
Called out in my old ways,
and called into something.
There’s an exquisite readying,
thats building.
I have a desire to jump in,
understanding that there’s a holding back
so I am tuned in a way that will be helpful.
I’m not done yet in terms of acting in the world.
And I’m heartbroken.
Doesn’t everyone see what I/we see.
Concentrating on what we can handle—
that concerns me.
I want to find that Via Creativa
I feel it emerging, I have something to contribute:
that excites me,
and it’s required me to do a lot of processing,
working through trauma,
creating inner spaciousness.
Now I’m more available for the future,
but it has to be a shared thing.
Hence my gratitude!
Going in the water every day,
lowering myself into the water without
judgement of it being cold.
Allowing the water to absorb me,
knowing I am blessed.
Shedding as I move forward.

Noticing distinctions:
walking along the paths, allowing things to occur,
and active participation in either or both of them.

It feels neither individual nor collective,
or anything emerging.
There’s mist all around.
We can look for the mist to clear,
but that’s just the mind from the past.
It feels like the mist sometimes presents something
that looks like something,
and I might try to see what it is,
that might give a clue to the new creation.
But then it dissolves.
It feels to me like we’re in that dissolving place now,
and I’m just treasuring it.
The dissolving place in the mist,
there are little manifestations…
I’m coming to be OK with that.
It feels like part of what my individual and our collective
is about now.
It’s about being comfortable with
the little forms we see in the mist.
And letting go.

Many threads weaving…
I’m drawn to the aspect of committing to
—even being claimed by—
the dance.
All of these energies in motion:
Positiva, Creativa, Negativa,
and within that the Transformativa.
In my own recent journey in this wave,
however fine the gold energy is,
in whatever moment we’re in,
I’m feeling to bring my attention there.
And I was taken by a wave,
an undertow took me down.
I had the shock of my life!
I was fully in the journey of it
and it was unrelenting!
The image of the woman,
the stripping away
was how it felt,
and it was terrifying!
For me, on the dual path,
I would create a shift in my own imagery:
the amplitude can change.
It’s not the neatness of a double helix:
it can have an amplitude of the wave action
pounding the shores—inner and outer—
so that which no longer serves
(the frequency of gold being the tuning agent)
in the integrity of that frequency
everything was being pulled off,
carded like wool.
Not a pretty process, sometimes.
A signature of deep suffering,
a feeling of insanity waving through my system,
and a dissolution, a letting go
was palpable:
be under no illusion as to what is happening here.
And I can feel it:
we are here, it is these times,
the creativity is being unleashed,
should we choose.
And sometimes we are taken into these waves.
There is something here in this matrix of practices
that has demanded my total attention, dedication…
I was not getting out unless I did my work.
The wave has gently subsided,
and I’ve been supported through the dyads and the triads I am in.
The sphere was also present,
but shrouded.
When I’m in those spaces,
I generally reach out in some way.
Sleeping I dreamed of a huge phoenix
and a circle of 8 women, talking in circle
in my living room.
Today I went for a walk on the beach,
a multi-layered multi-hued view,
with the waves hitting my feet,
feeling the sand being pulled from under me,
subtly, grain by grain,
releasing from under my feet:
a foundational shift is in motion.
It takes commitment
to the alchemising,
the purification,
to be able to be present to what is
and to play my part.

I like the metaphor of the mist.
There is some beauty in staying in the mist.
In a way, we see what we want to see.
But going beyond the mist
to clear sky,
that’s something else!
It’s overwhelming at first,
almost too much.
It’s just much bigger than anything you’ve been accustomed to.
Maybe we’ve been in the mist all our lives.
Now we need to cross the dark woods
to the clear skies.
I sometimes I want to nudge people
to wake up.
But they don’t seem to want to.
We need to move to more solid ground,
and I’m impatient.
In the mist of illusion,
how to discern the ‘right sign’?
It’s a tricky world: one veil after another.
What do I need to say, for people to believe me?
There is so much delusion, who am I to say?
Maybe I’m mislead too—but it doesn’t feel like it.
There’s always another level, fresh mysteries,
maybe I haven’t yet figured out
the whole damn thing.
But I think we can figure out the right direction
if we are paying attention to the inner compass.

This speaks to me of treading the path
of the Via Negativa:
It’s the society and the world I live in.
People are pre-programmed —as am I—
to comply, to obey, to not question.
I moved here 3 weeks ago.
What do I still need to let go of?
Why am I doing this?
I’m releasing all the time, and it’s getting easier.
It’s so blatantly obvious!
I don’t experience that much in everyday life,
unless I watch the news.
The air is crystal clear here, at high altitude.
There’s less oxygen. Does that help clarify?
Everything I’ve ever been programmed to believe or hang onto
is coming up to be looked at.
It feels right.
And I’m finding others here who are doing the same.
Part of seeing what is true for me
—the Positiva
and that in-between space of not being able to grasp what wants to come in—
and yet it’s right there!
It’s separate and together.
We hold our own frequency, and then the togetherness magically shows up.
In the beginning I have to do my own piece,
to emanate my unique frequency,
my energetic pulse going out into the world
to whoever is around me, with no judgement.
Why do people stay with the old program?
Fear is pervasive.
It’s such a low frequency, it’s debilitating.
When I notice it coming up in me,
I really notice it.
And see it as a place to do some work:
What can I release that’s part of the old program?

The language of paths made me think of railroad tracks.
Separate tracks, back and forth back and forth.
Tracks usually merge somewhere,
If they are going somewhere!
And there are shared tracks—
going the same place.
So this idea of falsehood and truth being separate things,
and people knowing what is true or false
seems false to me:
It’s not black and white!
The language of paths felt like it was boxing me in.

I became familiar with these paths
through Mathew Fox
and his school of Creation Spirituality.
He was going towards a belief
that we have a life work,
something we are meant to contribute to the world.
The paths were taught sequentially.
Positiva: the path of Awe (we are all mystics)
Negativa (the crosses we bear)
Creativa (we are all artists)
Transformativa (we are all prophets)
You take the fruit of the Creativa
and see the place where the needs of the world
meet your gifts.
I can recognise these paths in my own life.
Out of the Via Negativa and the Via Positiva
comes something. Inspiration. Synchronicity.
The power of three.
Life can call our work out of us.

Who showed up:

An van Damme, Anna Brunain, Wini Condic Begov, Hugo McPherson, Pieter Deceuninck, Justin Frank, Sam Hinds, Max Goslin, Kim Maynard, Lyn McDonell, Patricia Hunt Perry, Madeleine Schwab, Judy Wallace, Madeline Snow, Georgios Kastrinos, Louise Carpenter, Sarah Whiteley, Helen Titchen Beeth

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Invitation Page

Collective Alchemy portal day, Friday 10 September 2021

Greetings fellow alchemists! There has been a 6-week hiatus in our regular pattern of practice—a summer break. No regular Portal Day with calls; rather, a Portal Day with a difference (no calls) followed by an Alchemical Hangout (What has been alchemising in our lives?). In our co-sensing journeys, there is a constant tension between following the narrative thread of our journey over time and constantly sourcing from the present. And yet, it is from our

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